Iron Man, Precious, Let's Dance

#1 - Iron Man

Stars - Robert Downey Jr, Jeff Bridges, Gwenyth Paltrow, Paul Bettany

Director - Jon Favreau

Memorable Quote - ' Let's face it, this is not the worst thing you've caught me doing.'

Review - I quite like the idea of trapping Paul Bettany inside a computer room and making him run my house and pretend not to exist. That's clearly what they did here, because otherwise the AI would be so ludicrously advanced that it is able to make sarcastic retorts, which is just ludicrous. Nope, definitely kidnap. Anyway, this is a fun little thing despite the overtones of capture, torture, and imminent death it begins with. There are a lot of humourous little lines, mostly delivered by Downey Jr ('I'm sorry, this is the fun-vee. The hum-drum-vee is back there'), and all the quirks we expect from a superhero delivered in a more modern setting - the cute assistant almost kisses him but doesn't, the wingman thinks he's crazy for a while, the bad guy is working in a war zone that is relevant to the real situation of the world. Tony Stark is possibly a bit cooler than most superheroes; more like James Bond than Spiderman, and a lot better with the ladies. He also has a flawed past - far from being a saint, he has spent his life developing deadly missiles, and now wishes to reverse that by creating... a massive suit that can kill people? I don't see how that could ever possibly go wrong. This has a little something even for the people who don't generally like superhero movies, and though I felt that there was a male bias I don't think it was overpowering. As part of a series, though, its real worth will be weighed against the movies that follow it, and as a fragment of a whole rather than as a stand-alone piece. 4/5

#2 - Precious

Stars - Gabourey Sidibe, Mo'Nique, Mariah Carey, Paula Patton, Lenny Kravitz

Director - Lee Daniels

Memorable Quote - 'Love ain't done nothing for me... but beat me... rape me... call me an animal! Make me feel worthless! Make me sick!'

Review - Oh, Lord. First of all, I do not recommend watching this movie if you are already depressed, as you will probably kill yourself around halfway through if you do. I'm not sure why Lee Daniels went about this in the way he did, but I think the only reasons that this has received any critical praise at all are the following:
1. No one wants to look cold and heartless
2. Some people cry in it
The main, major problem with this film was the fact that it was all far too detached. You can't get involved with Precious' situation because she refuses to: every time anything bad happens to her we are thrown into her dream-world where she is a slightly strange star, and so we can't sympathise properly. I'm not saying we need to see everything, but it certainly takes away a layer of realism. Another thing getting in the way is the casting, which is truly, truly bizarre. In a film about real life and the real world, what on earth convinced the director to cast Mariah Carey, Mo'Nique, and Lenny Kravitz, three RATHER FAMOUS people?! I can't concentrate in the scenes with 'Mrs Weiss' because I'm too busy thinking about how Mariah should go back to a lighter hair colour! I can't take the mother character seriously at all because she's flipping Mo'Nique! I also read on the cast list that the random, unexplained man in Precious' dream-sequences was meant to resemble Tom Cruise, which is odd considering that he looked like a toned-down version of Kravitz or something. What were they thinking? This is a horrible, horrible story, and the way it has been dealt with just makes me annoyed. By the way, also, the uplifting ending? What the hell? She's still unemployed and living in a halfway house, with HIV and two inbred children, and she hasn't even passed that test yet. How is that meant to be uplifting? She still has literally no future ahead of her, despite all the interference of the (unnecessary) lesbians and unruly gang of girls. None of them dropped out in spite of Ms Rain's warning, and the lame attempt to prove that the class really was a revolving door was to have a random kid pop up suddenly halfway through, which again makes little to no sense. The way that the opening credits were written in order to fake illiteracy was worse than condescending, and I'm not a fan at all of using poor grammar to signify poverty (I had to study 'The Colour Purple' a couple of years back, and was not impressed by the technique then either). I have only read a synopsis of 'Push', but from what I can see many things were left out, and I would have considered the father more of a threat if he was actually a character instead of a two-second cameo and some heavy breathing. The entire point of the journals is lost, as it seems that only Precious' story counts for anything in this adaptation, and her classmates are all but ignored as simple outlines of stereotypes and left at that. I felt bored by the end. Sure, I felt guilty about being bored, but I was bored anyway. It seems to me that this whole thing is just a parody of an Alice Walker book, rather than a story in its own right, and for that I can't respect it. 2/5

#3 - Let's Dance


Stars - Fred Astaire, Betty Hutton, Ruth Warrick, Lucille Watson

Director - Norman Z. McLeod

Memorable Quote - ??

Review - A highlight of this film was the costuming. For some reason I couldn't find any good stills at all, but Hutton's dresses throughout were beautiful, particularly her mourning dress near the beginning and the outfit she wore in Astaire's dream sequence. I have to say I wasn't much of a fan of Hutton's character in general - she was far too melodramatic, and I hated all the facial expressions and strange noises she made in the musical numbers, it was like watching a freak show rather than a dance. Astaire is predictably smooth, and of course this follows a very familiar routine common to many movies of the era, particularly musicals - rogue guy, usually played by Sinatra or Astaire, reunites with old flame and has to help her out of some difficulty, during which she falls for him all over again... yes, quite predictable, though it was fun to see how they would work their way out of all the little problems they got into, and some of the musical numbers were entertaining. It was amusing to see Hutton dressed as a cowboy for their saloon scene - I wonder if it looked strange back then? It showed off the fact that she was much curvier than leading ladies these days generally are, and raised some interesting points in my mind to do with the way film and media perceptions of women have changed over the years. Astaire is dominated by Hutton, and his solo number ("Jack and the Beanstalk") is the only time that he really stands out as anything more than a foil, so it may be a disappointing watch for Astaire fans. Either way, a nice afternoon in but nothing that blew my mind particularly. 3/5

The Magnificent Seven Ride, Primal Fear, Starsky and Hutch

Two first timers and a rewatch here, though ironically the rewatch is the most recently made movie. Still, not a bad bunch. Happy Sunday!

#1 - THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN RIDE

Stars - Lee Van Cleef, Stefanie Powers

Director - George McCowan

Memorable Quote - 'Seven's always been my lucky number.'

Review - Yes, I've finally got around to watching the final installation of the Magnificent Seven series! This time Lee Van Cleef plays an aging Chris in what must be his last adventure, defending a whole town of women from evil Mexican rapists. This is quite a bit darker than the other movies - the emergence of the women from the church in their first meeting sends shivers down the spine at the implied violence, and this only increases when Laurie describes the ratio of men to women in the attack. The women have clearly been through a terrible ordeal, which is why it is a) unrealistic and b) kinda creepy when they all immediately fall in love with members of the Seven, particularly in Laurie's case and in the case of the Mormon wives. This film was clearly written and directed by men, no two ways about it - a female perspective would have been very different. The rape and murder of Chris' wife at the start of the film is also conveniently forgotten - should he not still be in mourning? A lot of plot holes with this then, as well as the obligatory Deaths of People You Like. It's the same as last time - woman falls in love with man, offers him chance of redemption, man dies unnecessarily. I guess it's for the feeling of realism, but in that case they might as well have not bothered, considering the other unrealisms presented here. Not bad overall, but you can't ignore the glaring obviousness of these plot issues. 3.5/5

#2 - PRIMAL FEAR

Stars - Richard Gere, Edward Norton, Laura Linney, Terry O'Quinn, Joe Spano, Tony Plana

Director - Gregory Hoblit

Memorable Quote - 'Sooner or later a man who wears two faces forgets which one is real.'

Review - Whew, isn't Edward Norton fantastic? This portrayal of a young, psychologically disturbed altar boy is exceedingly well done, from the stuttering, nervous Aaron to the psychopathic Roy. TV fans will no doubt be pleased to spot Locke from Lost appearing with Ignacio from Ugly Betty, along with a plethora of other faces we will recognise in small parts. The plot is layered in several stages, as first we see the crime and chase, then the initial denial of guilt, the revelation of the existence of Roy, the courtroom battle in which Roy finally emerges, and then at last that chilling final scene. It is all well acted and well presented, particularly in Norton's case of course, and the sense of tension is raised throughout. What makes this movie really stand out from the crowd is that final twist: for a large percentage of the film we think we are only watching a lovely story about a lawyer with a conscience, making sure that his client is not wrongfully punished for something that was not his fault. However, with the dark ending we realised a whole new level to the film, something we could perhaps not have anticipated. The length of Gere's walk away from the cell is important, because it gives the audience time to take in what the hell just happened. Well-directed and just right. 5/5


#3 - STARSKY AND HUTCH

Stars - Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, Snoop Dogg, Vince Vaughn, many more

Director - Todd Phillips

Memorable Quote - 'Do it.'

Review - I'll say first of all that my knowledge of the original S&H is almost nonexistent, so this can by no means be a comparison. Instead I'm taking the film just as a thing in its own right. It is of course highly amusing - with the combination of Hollywood heavyweights Stiller and Wilson there was never going to be any doubt of that. Snoop Dogg adds his own wonderful dose of self-aware charm and humour, while the cameo of the original S&H at the end is a nice nod to the heritage of the film. All in all a good night's entertainment, and many a scene that will make you laugh time and time again - I can't count how many times I or someone I'm talking to has said 'do it' and caused an impromptu rendition of Stiller's undercover character. There's much fun to be had with this, but not much more I can say without ruining the jokes which, after all, don't work on paper as well as they do on screen. 4/5

Edward Scissorhands, Alexander, Miss Potter

Three rewatches! Well, it is a bonus post, after all.

#1 - EDWARD SCISSORHANDS

Stars - Johnny Depp, Winona Ryder, Dianne Wiest, Vincent Price

Director - Tim Burton

Memorable Quote - 'I know a doctor who might be able to help you.'

Review - Well now, I doubt that anyone could argue that this isn't a classic. Though it is for the most part strange and dark, and the ending is kind of depressing for poor Edward, it bears all the marks of the style we have come to expect from Burton. The characters are all immensely likeable or disagreeable, and are highly characterized to the point that we are more inclined to remember their attributes or appearance rather than their names. The idea of forbidden love is strong here, especially of unrequited or unrealised love. There are many humorous elements, of course, such as Edward accidentally puncturing the waterbed right at the start, and elements of the surreal or cartoonish, such as the hairdressing and hedgecutting sequences. It is a genuinely good film, and worth watching, but every time I see it I can't help but be unsatisfied with the ending and how sad it is that Edward has to spend his life alone. Mind you, if it was all happy-happy, it wouldn't be Burton. 4/5

#2 - ALEXANDER

Stars - Colin Farrel, Angelina Jolie, Jared Leto, Johnathon Rhys Meyers, Anthony Hopkins

Director - Oliver Stone

Memorable Quote - 'Conquer your fear, and I promise you, you will conquer death.'

Review - I can't quite count how many times I have randomly turned onto a BBC channel or Sky or something similar and this has been on. I've probably seen it more times than it deserves! In terms of historical accuracy I'm not what you might call an expert on Alexander the Great and so I have no knowledge to draw on to compare it too, but I'm sure some things must have been changed. For a start, I'm pretty sure Alexander wasn't Irish. Anyway, there is pretty much a triumvirate of chiseled faces and chests to enjoy here (Farrell, Leto, Rhys Meyers) as well as something for the lads (Jolie), although her character is kind of creepy. It must be something of an alright film judging by the fact that I haven't bothered to switch it off each time, but it's not going to go down as a classic - the acting is the usual Farrell woodenness mixed with occasional melodrama, which is disappointing when compared to certain other movies in which he shows his true potential. I'm not sure what they were thinking with the weird blond mullet, either. The relationship between Hephaistion and Alexander is well done, though, and is actually kind of convincing. There's no attempt to hide the fact that they were probably lovers, which is good, and there are many scenes that are quite touching, particularly death scenes. The battle scenes are quite good as far as battle scenes go, even if I did glaze over a bit up until the point where he actually got stabbed. Don't bother buying the DVD, though, it's on often enough. 3/5

#3 - MISS POTTER

Stars - Renee Zelwegger, Ewan McGregor, Lloyd Owen, Emily Watson, Bill Paterson

Director - Chris Noonan

Memorable Quote - 'Stories don't always end where their authors intended. But there is joy in following them, wherever they take us.'

Review - Ahh, the first time I saw this I was literally traumatised. You see, I quite like Ewan McGregor, and he's just as charming as ever in this - but no one warned me that he dies halfway through. Ewan fans take note, it is very sad when he does so. For a large part of the film I feel as if Beatrix is possibly insane and imaging the whole thing, but of course she isn't. It's not quite an Austin-level tragedy since she ends up getting over Ewan and falling for Paul from Monarch of the Glen, who, luckily, has always had a bit of thing for her. There are some parts of her story that will chime with a modern audience: she is determined to achieve her dreams no matter who tells her to give up, and she fantasizes about a time when she will be successful and rich and no longer have to worry about her parents. Not that she's poor to begin with. It's maybe not the most revolutionary of films, but it does give a charming insight into one of Britain's best-loved children's authors, and into a time when many things were different. Much like 'Becoming Jane', the moment that we realise that the heroine really has lost the love of her life (even more terrible for Beatrix, probably, since she was way past her sell-by date in terms of marriageability back then), is the stand-out moment of the movie, the one that will make you cry or at least sniffle a bit, and the one that you will remember long after having seen it. 4/5

Hound of the Baskervilles, Spy Kids, The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor

Well, it's Sunday, so here we are - the first blog post of 2011. Happy New Year everyone - let's make this one count.

#1 - THE HOUND OF THE BASKERVILLES

Stars - Richard Roxbourgh, Ian Hart, Richard E Grant, John Nettles

Director - David Attwood

Memorable Quote - JW: 'What is it?' SH: 'It's dead.'

Review - What a classic! I must have seen this ten times at least. I remember being about thirteen and writing about watching it for the first time in a diary. It's generally on every Christmas since it's a made-for-TV movie. This has to be my favourite out of the adaptations of this story that I have seen, and it is a perfectly English creation. Grant is SO very English that it is humourous, and many of the lines are delivered with a dry humour that only we Brits could have conceived of. The casting is quite exquisite, actually - each of them is well suited to their roles in appearance and mannerisms, and this Watson/Holmes pairing is as good as any I've seen. The slight homoerotic undertones are of course intact, as they should be in any Holmes story, and all the colours are gloomy with bright spots of luxury, adding to the melodrama of the plot. The visual effects aren't too bad, given both the nature of the production and it's age, and while it is clear that the hound is not real I don't believe it really detracted from the effects very much. All in all, a great effort. 4.5/5

#2 - SPY KIDS

Stars - Antonio Banderas, Carla Gugino, Alexa Vega, Darryl Sabara, Teri Hatcher

Director - Robert Rodriguez

Memorable Quote - 'We are definitely gonna be late for school.'

Review - To quote my mother, 'this was doing well until the children arrived'. And she was right. The bits with Antonio Banderas were amusing in a silly way, but something that could engage adult attention as well as that of a child. The parts where the children are running around town, however, are not as engaging, and in fact I found myself switching off quite often from those sections. The dialogue was simply tedious, and the fact that they would be that childish and still succeed was ludicrous, quite frankly. Hmm. I'm not really sure what else to say, except that this is probably only really appropriate for those around the age of five. Ah well, there's always Antonio Banderas to look at. 2/5

#3 - THE MUMMY: TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR

Stars - Brendon Fraser, Jet Li, Michelle Yeoh, John Hannah

Director - Rob Cohen

Memorable Quote - 'Why am I laughing?!'

Review - This being the third in the franchise, by now we're very clear on what to expect from the Mummy movies. This of course is a rewatch. It always seems to be on in the festive period, though I don't see what's so Christmassy about Chinese mummies. Anyway, this is quite a strange film really, where an all-star cast and a renowned director come together to make... something a little bit beneath them. Much like the PotC movies, this franchise has brought Fraser a new level of popularity, but he and his co-stars all seem a little bit too good to be in the third part of a franchise, the time when all the stars should be jumping ship as the sales start to decrease. All the same, this is not as bad as it could be - in fact, the introduction of the Chinese element with Yeoh and Li makes it much more interesting. We have the old favourites of Hannah's cowardly materialism and Fraser's plucky one-liners, alongside the new elements of the grown son and the immortals. Not a classic of refined cinema, then, but still a worthwhile evening's entertainment. Really quite funny in places, too, and the effects aren't half bad. 3.5/5

31 North 62 East, One Magic Christmas, The Gruffalo

Bonus post! I've actually seen about 2890 films this holiday period, and that means that there's no point in waiting til Sunday to post these extra three. Also, I apologise for my grumpy-seeming reviews :D

#1 - 31 NORTH 62 EAST

Stars - John Rhys-Davies, Marina Sirtis, Craig Fairbrass, Heather Peace

Director - Tristan Loraine

Memorable Quote - 'Okay, let's nail these bastards.'

Review - Set in an alternate reality where John Prescott seems to be Prime Minister, this film was quite clearly filmed on a tighter budget than its director would have like - though it's difficult to see where anyone was able to sink the $3 million that were apparently wasted on it. The shooting style is primitive, the acting is poor at best, and the most extensive effects involve a fan and some miniature flags that are not as long as you are supposed to believe. The entire thing seems to be a car advert, since those are the only things that we actually see clearly in almost every scene: at one point the Prime Minister is talking to someone from Eastenders and the only thing in focus is a telephone on his desk. The lighting is so badly done that some scenes are tinted orange, whilst others are coated in totally inappropriate and amateurish shadows. Many of the scenes also fade into a tacky black screen before we experience a timeskip, possibly the clumsiest use of this technique that I have ever seen - and I've been watching Australian soaps for all of my twenty years, for Christ's sake. I can see that there was some political motivation, but this was lost in the ridiculously melodramatic script and, of course, the cop-out of using false events and made-up characters. The soundtrack does not survive either, descending into absurdity about halfway in, as we are suddenly introduced to brash, over-loud, over-cheesy American rubbish blared out over a supposedly touching graveyard scene, simply because it contains a vague line about a sister. TACKY. The casting was confusing, given that two characters were played by the same person, and the entirety of the ending was a completely unnecessary twist. Seriously, one of the first rules of a story, whether it is a novel or a play or a film, is that tragedy only works if the character stays dead. Since she was alive all along I don't care any more, and I find her quite merciless given that she was willing to go torture someone innocent and let the entire population of the UK see that you're able to get results by doing that, given what she had gone through. A valiant effort, I suppose, but really not worth the waste of two hours or so of your life. 1/5

#2 - One Magic Christmas

Stars - Harry Dean Stanton, Mary Steenburgen, Elisabeth Harnois

Director - Phillip Borsos

Memorable Quote - 'Well, uh, I'm an angel. A Christmas angel.'

Review - I don't mean to be the Christmas grinch or anything, but I really don't understand what is wrong with the people who run television in this country. First they cancel Kingdom, and now this! Who on earth would put this on television? It's one of the creepiest and worst things I have seen in quite some time. No surprise, then, that it was released slap bang in the middle of the eighties, that renowned era of classy movies. This one is basically about a little girl who talks to a stranger on the street, a creepy man in an overcoat who claims to be an angel called Gideon. Being naive and having not been warned against such gentlemen, she believes him, and later allows him to sit in her bedroom and such things. Hey kids, this movie says, if a man approaches you in the street, don't worry! He's a Christmas angel! If you do everything he asks you to then your Daddy won't die! Um, yeah. Moral questionability aside, it isn't even a good or logical plot - this so-called Christmas angel allows a hell of a lot of horrible things to happen to the mother so that she will damn well learn to appreciate Christmas, damn her. She's so scared by it all she ends up spending $50 on a cooker that she doesn't need, even though her family are about to be evicted from their home. I can't actually believe I sat there and watched this whole thing. 1/5

#3 - The Gruffalo

Stars - Robbie Coltrane, Helena Bonham Carter, James Corden, Rob Brydon, John Hurt

Director - Max Lang, Jakob Schuh

Memorable Quote - 'A gruffalo? What's a gruffalo?'

Review - Chucking this one in here for a bit of relief, since I think this post needs it. Needless to say, being over the age of ten, I did not think I was ever going to watch this, but Christmas TV being what it is I ended up doing so. I usually hate James Corden as well, so when the mouse opened his mouth it nearly ruined the whole thing for me. Sticking with it though, I ended up enjoying it quite a bit. Of course you enjoy in a fond sort of way, as an adult looking at a child's story, but that doesn't necessarily devalue it at all. The graphics are all very cute and enchanting, the characters are played perfectly by a high-flying cast and the story itself is, of course, magical. So, much much better than both of the movies above, even if it is only a fraction of their length. Something to show to kids everywhere, who will no doubt fall in love with this plucky mouse and his skill at outwitting such a fearsome beast. 4/5

Evan Almighty, Tenderness, Mr North

Here's week two of the new update schedule... and as you can see, I am still doing fine. Christmas TV is wonderful, isn't it? There's always an opportunity to watch a film from the past that you've seen a million times before, or a chance to catch something new. Possibly the best thing about this is that it's the one time of year that you're most likely to have time to watch them. Happy Christmas, by the way.

#1 - EVAN ALMIGHTY

Stars - Steve Carrell, Morgan Freeman, John Goodman, Jonah Hill

Director - Tom Shadyac

Memorable Quote - Rita: Evan, what happened? Did you fall in a mine shaft?
Evan: No.
Rita: Did you just come out of a coma?
Evan: No.
Rita: Were you attacked by a werewolf?
Evan: No, I wasn't.
Rita: Well, if you were going for that rugged look, I think you over-shot it.

Review - This is something I've seen before, but somehow never managed to review. It's a bit of a classic in terms of silly comedies, I suppose, and though it is all God-themed and the like it's something that I can accept and watch without too much of a problem. There is of cause the greatest casting decision of all time carried over from Bruce Almighty, ie Morgan Freeman being God (because he kinda is). In terms of comic value this is a whole different kettle of fish from Bruce, given that Jim Carrey's style is so unique and recognisable (and also marmite-like). I'd suggest that people who did not like Bruce would still have the chance to find Evan funny, as it registers on a whole different level. This is nothing more than good, clean family fun, and the little touches (the 'dance', the end title sequence, the characterisation of the different animals) are enough to keep it funny after many rewatches. It is not highbrow and it is not something that will make you think particularly, but the genius is that it presents Christianity in a way that would be easy for an audience of any faith to enjoy. You don't have to believe in God to have a chuckle at Morgan Freeman. This is good for a night in after a bad day, and though there are certain areas that drag once you know what happens in them, it is not something that I would ever turn off in disgust. 3.5/5

#2 - TENDERNESS

Stars - Russell Crowe, Jon Foster, Sophie Traub

Director - John Polson

Memorable Quote - 'Today could be different. Today something just might change.'

Review - This movie just... failed so hard. It could have been amazing. For God's sake, the story was amazing. But then you make it all so emotionally distant that there's nothing to care about, you make the female lead so unattractive and annoying that I don't care what the hell happens to her, and you stick in Russell Crowe - no doubt for publicity - in a role that does nothing at all for the storyline except interrupt it. I would also like to add that I HATE with a passion the current trend of having blonde, unconventional women with no eyebrows to speak of and strange lips as models, actresses, etc etc. It's not a good look. Very unhappy with this - we could have got deep into the strange psychological relationship between Eric and Lori, why Eric felt the need to kill and what his background was, and more on his relationship with his aunt/parents/etc, but all of that was ignored in favour of... what? Lots of shots of Russell Crowe driving around and looking at a sick woman? Why? I was not at all suprised to find that it was based on a novel, and I think I'm going to pick that novel up; after all, it is not the story that is at fault here but the director. Stupid choices ruined something with great potential. 2/5

#3 - MR NORTH

Stars - Anthony Edwards, Robert Mitchum, Lauren Bacall, Anjelica Huston, Harry Dean Stanton

Director - Danny Huston

Memorable Quote - 'Madam, I suggest that you encourage your children to play with matches!'

Review - This movie starts off rather strangely and carries on in much the same way. It feels as though it was made a lot earlier than it was, which I suppose is a testament to the skill of the director for placing it in the 1920s and making that seem natural. The little special effects of the electricity are a touch tacky, of course, but this is the eighties we're talking about. I felt it was a little mismatched to have a youthful looking Edwards opposite the clearly older Huston, but it's not the first time such a gap has been cast, nor indeed is it untrue to reality. It made much more sense for him to be paired with Sally or Sarah or whatever the hell her name is actually supposed to be. The chase/trial sequence lost me quite a bit due to its overall ridiculousness, and while the chase did have comic value there was only legal inaccuracy in the court scene and not much else of any value to speak of. It's not something I will leap to watch again, once was quite enough. Not really what you would call a classic of our times. 2/5

Magnum Force, SommerSturm, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

A new initiative starting from this week is the idea of regular updates. From here on in I will be updating every Sunday, schedule permitting. It might be a Saturday, it might be a Monday, but as far as I am able I will be updating on a weekly basis. But, you might say, surely I can't guarantee that I will watch three movies every week? Well, that's fine, because I will also be padding out with movies that I have already seen and somehow failed to review, as well as re-reviewing those from the 'three word review' times. So, in other words, a lot of old movies coming up, chaps. Also, if you think there's something I really need to watch that it is a crime to not have reviewed here, drop me a line! I'm completely open to suggestions, especially considering that I'll be using a lovely little free trial rental service I have in the new year.

#1 - MAGNUM FORCE

Stars - Clint Eastwood, Hall Holbrook, David Soul, Felton Perry

Director - Ted Post

Memorable Quote - 'A man's gotta know his limitations.'

Review - Harry Callahan is back, and he is even less to be messed with. This starts off quite promisingly, with first of all a murder and second of all Harry single-handedly taking down a team of plane hijackers. It does not quite pack the same punches as 'Dirty Harry' in terms of catchphrases and in terms of awesome final scenes, and I felt a little bit like things were repeated too much. Of course it's still a good film, but it perhaps would have been better if there had not been a first movie to compare it to. Eastwood is dashing as ever, though it seems a little bit superfluous to have women throwing themselves at him quite so much - yes, he's attractive, we know, but there's no need to illustrate it so obviously. The plot became progressively more predictable as it went on, though I still think it was a little bit disappointing that Davis was revealed so early on... nitpicking, but anyway. I sound like I'm slating it, but I did enjoy it - I just have a very high expectation for Clint Eastwood movies, I suppose. I think that this ranks lower than 'Dirty Harry' in general, but that does not mean that it does not have any worth as a film at all, particularly as part of the series. And Callahan is still pretty damn cool. 3.5/5

#2 - SOMMERSTURM

Stars - Robert Stadlober, Kostja Ullman, Alicja Bachleda, Hanno Koffler

Director - Marco Kreuzpaintner

Memorable Quote - 'If you hide your whole life, you'll forget who you even are.'

Review - This is translated, as it were, from an old three-word review, and to be honest with you I can't really believe the fact that I haven't given it a full review here yet, because it is one of my top ten movies of all time, possible top five. I can't tell you how much I love this film. In my room I have an 'influence wall', where I have started adding prints of images of things that inspire me, and there are only five images on it so far: a still from SommerSturm, this still, is one of them. The whole piece is moving and emotional throughout, as we follow Tobi as he battles internally with the fact that he is in love with his best friend, Achim. For me, the highlights of the movie are the scene where he confesses the truth to Anke, the scene where he ends up with Leo the first time, and the summer storm itself with his final denial/confession. I recommend this for anyone who has ever been through adolescence or had a crush, because this is not just a coming out movie - it's a growing up movie. It's about nervousness and not being sure of who you are, and once you find out, learning to be comfortable with who that person is. The way it is filmed is also beautiful, and with small touches of humour alongside a soundtrack that perfectly suits the mood of the film, there is nothing that I can fault. Worth a watch, and a rewatch, and again. 6/5


#3 - THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON

Stars - Brad Pitt, Cate Blanchett

Director - David Fincher

Memorable Quote - 'I was thinking how nothing lasts, and what a shame that is.'

Review - Just like the film above, this is a re-do of a three word review, and I think it deserves more. I've read the short story by F Scott Fitzgerald, and I would have to say that they are almost unrecognizable when compared side by side. That said, I think it is important to take the film as an entity in its own right rather than comparing it. The storyline is enchanting, in a way that draws you in, making you ask questions and stay until those questions are answered. The effects are great, since one of the main things this relies on is making the an eighty year old man look like the same person as an eighteen year old, and making sure that everyone looks like Brad Pitt. I was amazed, actually, to see just how many people there were involved in playing Benjamin himself. The colour of the film overall is beautiful, giving it a feeling that lasts throughout and is almost nostalgic. Blanchett is also graceful and enchanting alongside Pitt, and her own transformation is also quite good. I think the best scene has to be where she gets hit by the car - the way that it is narrated and played out before us is impeccable. With a star cast and the influence of a classic author, this could have gone wrong as these things often do; but it did not - and this is a film that I fully recommend. 4/5