Stars - Colin Firth, Helena Bonham Carter, Geoffrey Rush
Director - Tom Hooper
Memorable Quote - 'In this grave hour fuck fuck fuck perhaps the most fateful in our history bugger shit shit.'
Review - Alright, i'll say this for it: there is a lot of good acting in 'The King's Speech'. Colin Firth really did put a lot of effort into it, and those in the know think he made a very accurate representation of the real king. Helena Bonham Carter manages to look and act like a real human being for once, and it is sort of amusing to think of the Queen being a young child with her father suddenly ruling the country. It's a history lesson for those who don't know much about the recent history of the monarchy, and education is never a bad thing. However, all of these good factors don't stop it from being mind-crushingly boring. To be honest I blame the subject: royalty or no royalty, it is essentially just the story of a man going to speech therapy to cure his stutter, and not in fact managing to completely rid himself of it. No battles, no wild love story, not even a conspiracy... It's more boring than that one about the actual Queen, and I can't even remember what happened in that. Good for him, he managed to say some stuff, but he can keep it all in his own private time, thanks. 3/5
#2 - BURN AFTER READING
Stars - Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Frances McDormand, John Malkovich, Tilda Swinton, Richard Jenkins, J.K. Simmons
Director - Ethan Coen, Joel Coen
Memorable Quote - 'Appearances can be... deceptive.'
Review - There are many, many, many good things I can say about this movie. I love the script. I love the casting. I love the setting, the costumes, the camerawork. I love the plot. Just about the only thing I don't love about it is watching Brad Pitt get shot in his perfectly formed and hilariously dumb face, because it means he won't be making me laugh for the remaining time. His character is so fantastically silly that he's adorable, and it's particularly amusing to see a 'straight' actor making such a fool of himself on purpose. This is one of the best Clooney performances I've seen, and the same is true for at least half the cast. I actually can't think of anything I can truly criticise, which is why I chose to expand on my original three word review from a couple of years back. Every plot twist, though ridiculous when viewed without a backstory, makes perfect sense in context, creating a kind of beautiful madness that will probably have you sympathising with the authorities towards the end. If you have not seen this film, I only have one piece of advice for you: do so. Now. 5/5
#3 - DEMOLITION MAN
Stars - Sylvester Stallone, Wesley Snipes, Sandra Bullock, Nigel Hawthorne
Director - Marco Brambilla
Memorable Quote - 'You're gonna regret this the rest of your life... both seconds of it.'
Review - 'Demolition Man' starts out hilariously. As Snipes and Stallone exchange words you can almost see the script passing across their eyes. Other supporting members are not much higher in the acting stakes, and what follows are some shots of parts of Stallone I have never wanted to see. Increasing the ickyness levels is the fact that certain parts of him have been smoothed out of the picture, turning him into some kind of genderless futuristic freakshow suspended in one of Lady Gaga's props. Or maybe she's in one of his, given the chronology. Anyway, bizarre attempts at futurising everything (swirly high five, anyone?) are humorous rather than convincing, and technology made up in the past never matches up to what we perceive now to be possible. It does improve as time goes on into an amusing tale of society adjusting to a man from the past, rather than a man adjusting to the future, which is interesting. As the times passes Stallone and Snipes seem to act better, though Snipes never loses the aura of a try-hard. The verbal morality fines continue to dominate the background enough that they actually feel like an in-joke, and that's probably the better-done element of the futurism. Special effects increase in quality, and the conclusion of their enmity is actually hilariously bloody. It's a good action romp, and worth a night in for sure. 3.5/5/5
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