Up in the Air, A Very Potter Sequel, The Proposal

Three very... different review this week. Variety is the spice of life.

#1 - UP IN THE AIR

Stars - George Clooney, Vera Farmiga, Anna Kendrick, J K Simmons

Director - Jason Reitman

Memorable Quote - 'Some animals were meant to carry each other, to live symbiotically over a lifetime. Star crossed lovers, monogamous swans. We are not swans. We are sharks.'

Review - This is a very touching movie, if only for the heartbreaking and also somewhat terrifying reality that it presents. The way his life is shown at first seems unreal - everything is too modern, too fast-moving, and it seems hard to believe that people really can live this way. But, of course, there are people who do fly around constantly for their jobs. There are people like Alex who have a family that they return to between each flight, and there are people like Ryan who hardly know their families at all. There are also people like Natalie who are too young to know enough to realise the repercussions of their actions, and who fall in love too easily. The point of showing you this man doing his talk about how everyone should be alone, a talk you will of course believe to be wrong, is that in the end he was right. If he had followed his philosophy instead of falling for Alex, he would never have minded the fact that he was on his own. Which is kind of a depressing point to make, really. 4/5

#2 - A VERY POTTER SEQUEL

Stars - Joe Walker, Jim Povolo, Darren Kriss, Bonnie Greusen, Lauren Lopez, Joe Moses, Brian Holden, Joey Richter, etc etc etc

Director - Matt Lang

Memorable Quote - See below

Review - Following on from my last post's review of A Very Potter Musical, if you loved that, you'll love this. Many of the cast members return, albeit some of them in different roles, and this is set in the first year of Hogwarts rather than the second, although it actually happens after the events of the last one because they've gone back in time... er. Of course this all makes for plenty of comic moments, and stand-out appearances include Jim Povolo (he of Goyle fame) as Firenze, he who was Cedric Diggory now becoming Lucius Malfoy, and of course Draco with his (her) ever-magnificent entrances. Joe Walker returns as Delores Umbridge, who is pretty damn scary, and there is a new appearance in the form of Brian Holden's Lupin. As before, my best moments:
1. Oh sh*t! You guys are kids! I've got to watch my damn mouth around you little bastards! I'm sorry. Shoot!. I've got to watch my damn mouth around you little bastards. (And the repetitions of this theme)
2. Did you get my text? ... Well you didn't text me back!
3. Lucius: You'll pay for this!
Snape: PUT IT ON MY TAB!
4.Snape: Why that's absurd!
Lupin: You're absurd!
Snape: What?! SAY THAT TO MY FACE!
Lupin: YOU'RE ABSURD!
Snape: THAT'S ABSURD!
5. What the devil is going on heeeere?
6. I… am a racist. I despise gingers, and mudbloods, I hate Gryffindor house, and my parents work for the man who killed your parents, do you want to be my friend?
7. You know, using the potty is a GREAT time to socialize! You just look over to the stall next to you, and you just have a right chat with your neighbor! 'Oh! Hello there! First time using the potty too, eh? Good luck, my man.
8. I drew a picture of you. Pay special attention to the shading on your sweater, it's... rather good. It´s.. quite good. You know... it´s probably the best I´ve ever
done. Actually... can I have that back? Wait... no... I´m TAKING IT! I´ve stolen your favorite drawing! Look, what do you think of this?
*rips drawing* *gasp* NO! Goyle paste it!
9. Lucius: 'She choreographed an affair behind my back with someone I trusted, someone I may have even loved…'
Harry: 'Ollivander?'
Hermione: 'Filch?'
Ron: 'Regulus Black, Sirius’ brother?'
Yaxley : 'Me?!'
10. Red Vines...What the hell can't they do?
Best songs were 'Hermione can't draw', its variant 'Lupin can't sing', and 'Guys Like Potter.' 4.5/5


#3 - The Proposal

Stars - Sandra Bullock, Ryan Reynolds, Betty White

Director - Anne Fletcher

Memorable Quote - Margaret: 'What am I allergic to?'
Andrew: 'Pine nuts, and the full spectrum of human emotion.'

Review - I'll admit it: having seen the trailer about fifteen thousand times, I expected this to be a loosely structured plot linking together the trailer gags with little else in the way of entertainment. I was pleasantly surprised. Although I did spend the entire movie thinking about how oddly shaped Reynolds' face is, I giggled quite a lot too. Of course this isn't a brain-stretcher, but the banter between the Reynolds/Bullock characters is very witty and the Gammy character is adorably funny. This is worth an evening in with a pizza and maybe even cake, for sure, as the entertainment value is high with little need to put much thought in. For a feel-good movie, as well, it actually manages to be quite convincing - the way they argue at the start, they could be lovers anyway, so the transition is easy to swallow. Best part was definitely the whole you're naked/you're wet exchange - total cringe. 3.5/5

Alien, Black Death, A Very Potter Musical

A varied post, for sure.

#1 - ALIEN


Stars - Tom Skerrit, Sigourney Weaver, John Hurt, Ian Holm

Director - Ridley Scott

Memorable Quote - 'This is Ripley, last survivor of the Nostromo, signing off.'

Review - Like many movies from the last couple of decades, this film was cutting-edge at the time and yet now looks slightly ridiculous. The little baby alien that can only move in one direction and can't bend its neck, the way the special effects look, it's all a bit antiquated these days - but I suppose that's just the curse of our technological advancements, and not something you can really judge the movie fairly on. The idea of the film is alright, I suppose, but nothing really any more exciting than other alien or invader themed-movies, and not really any more scary. There were some facepalm moments, like why on earth anyone would spend half an hour looking for a cat when they are being stalked by an alien that wants to eat them, but again that's a common factor in movies of this sort. Nothing special, really, then, and I don't really get the whole 'strong female' vibe everyone seems to get from Ripley - all she managed to do was save herself. 3/5

#2 - BLACK DEATH

Stars - Sean Bean, Eddie Redmayne, Carice Van Houten, Johnny Harris

Director - Christopher Smith

Memorable Quote - 'She was dead!'

Review - This is a nice little piece, although I think the director has a much higher opinion of it than I do, judging by the 'making of' featurette. It's a little bit like '13th Warrior' without the Antonio Banderas factor, a little bit like 'Priest' (the manga, not the film, adaptation buffs) but with less horror, and a little bit like 'The Village' but less... cool. It's not bad, not bad at all, don't get me wrong, but it isn't amazing either. Johnny Harris makes his second blog appearance in as many posts, he seems to be hot right now, and Sean Bean puts in another 'Lord of the Rings' style performance as usual. So long as they don't make him do an American accent, there's nothing wrong with that. Redmayne put in quite a memorable performance, I think, managing to stand out amongst more well-known actors as a strong lead. The torture scenes were nice and, erm, bloody, which is always... nice? Anyway, the story itself was good enough - not intellectually challenging, and completely predictable, but interesting enough to carry it through. And hey, even 'Sleepy Hollow' was predictable, so there's nothing wrong with that. All in all a good night in. 3.5/5

#3 - A Very Potter Musical

Stars - Joe Walker, Darren Kriss, Joey Richter, Bonnie Gruesen, Lauren Lopez, Joe Moses

Director - Matt Lang

Memorable Quote - See below

Review - Hmm, technically not a film, but something you can very easily find for yourself on youtube, or at http://www.teamstarkid.com/projects/a-very-potter-musical. This is basically hilarious, and well worth a watch if you know anything at all about Harry Potter. Potter is a douche, Ron eats snacks constantly, Hermione is the ugly duckling, Quirrel and Voldemort share a bromance... standout performances make this a parody that could stand alone as a work in its own right. There are just too many good bits for me to choose one single memorable quote, so enjoy this lists of my favourite bits (not necessarily in order):
1. 'What the devil is going on heeeere? Oooh, deja vu.'
2. 'Hey, you...'
3. 'I'm happy as a squrrrrrl, long as I'm with Mr Quirrrrrl.'
4. 'I command you to GET UP and FOLD THEM, at least.'
5. 'You can call me Voldemort. We've reached that point.'
6. 'For example: ten points from Gryffindor.'
7. 'You got me! You little shit! Oh, this is so embarrassing... This is the second time this has happened!'
8. 'I still don't believe you're back.'
9. 'You're right, I am a betrayer. I'm about to betray someone right... now!'
10. 'GOYLE RULES!'
And finally, best song? 'Baby you're not alone' and 'Voldemort is going down', jointly. 4/5

This Is England '86, Jesus' Son, Invictus

This week featuring a TV miniseries review as well as two films. Thanks to my 20th birthday presents there have been rewatches lately, and thanks to my loss of TV there are no free movies any more, but never fear - I am nothing if not resourceful when it comes to these matters. Hip hip hooray! Having said that though, I reviewed the first two things two weeks ago and only just got round to finding a third, so... well. Don't expect swift updates, is all.

#1 - THIS IS ENGLAND 86

Stars - Joseph Gilgun, Johnny Harris, Vicky McClure, Perry Fitzpatrick, Rosamund Hanson, Michael Socha, Thomas Turgoose

Director - Shane Meadows

Memorable Quote - 'We're not growing up, pal, we're growing sideways.'

Review - I don't usually review TV series, so you can probably begin to guess from that fact alone that I think very highly of This Is England 86. Following on three years from the movie, it is impeccably done with a wonderful cast. The stand-out star is Joe Gilgun, who many would recognise as Eli Dingle from Emmerdale, who needs only to stand in a room with a pet bird to cause me to crack up. Many of his scenes seem improvised, a fact which makes him even more impressive if I'm right. Once you've seen this you won't be able to stop thinking about it for a long time, and I highly recommend it. Despite the fact that it is at times a harrowing watch, it is perfect. The build-up of tension, the familiarity and empathy we feel towards the characters, their interactions... beautiful. I would say that the weak link in the chain is the actor playing Milky, who was not always convincing, but then having only one slightly weak character is pretty damn good for a TV show. The last episode in particular was so amazingly done - the build-up as Lol confronts her father and you wonder what she plans to do, then during the attack you're willing her to fight back, and of course afterwards Combo completely redeems himself for anything he may previously have done. Argh... I'm going to stop writing before this turns from a review into a fangirl essay. 5/5


#2 - JESUS' SON

Stars - Billy Crudup, Samantha Morton, Jack Black, various others

Director - Alison Maclean

Memorable Quote - 'There is a price to be paid for dreaming.'

Review - First of all, not being a junkie myself, I didn't really get most of the movie. I mean, I don't really know how it feels to be in that state of mind, so I can't tell whether FH really is one or is just under the influence the whole entire time. Anyway, quite an enjoyable movie with a style of narration that would still be considered cutting-edge if released today. I have to say it was quite disturbing to see this good-looking, not unreasonable young man sink deeper and deeper into the clutches of drugs and, well, weirdness, since despite his good looks he's not the type of person you would want to take home to your parents, or indeed home at all. It was not an unsympathetic movie, however - many times over we were made to feel sorry for certain incidents, such as the car crash and the death of McInnes, and most notably the handwritten note left by Michelle, which was probably the most emotional part of the entire film. Jack Black makes a worryingly good drug addict, whilst the other bit parts were all also compelling and believable. A good little film, really, considering how weird it all is. 4/5

#3 - INVICTUS


Stars - Morgan Freeman, Matt Damon

Director - Clint Eastwood

Memorable Quote - 'I thank whatever gods may be / For my unconquerable soul. / I am the master of my fate / I am the captain of my soul.'

Review - This is enjoyable just to see the level of acting that some people really can put in when they aren't typecast as idiots (*cough*MattDamon*cough*). However it has produced the downside that now, every time I think of Nelson Mandela, I get the mental image of Morgan Freeman instead. Still, this is worth a watch both as a mini history lesson and a moving piece about freedom and brotherhood. I think for me the best part of the film was seeing the little boy gradually being accepted by the police, until finally you see him wearing one of their hats - a small bit-character who does not even have a name, but instead represents a whole class of people: a nice touch, to see the continuity of the changing perceptions of South African people. Of course it was not as magic as that, but it is a nice metaphor. Also, I only got bored during the very final rugby match, and I dislike rugby, so that's an achievement. 4/5

Pale Rider, Wyatt Earp, Apache

Western special! Great showing on TCM recently.

#1 - PALE RIDER

Stars - Clint Eastwood, Sydney Penny

Director - Clint Eastwood

Memorable Quote - 'And I looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him.'

Review - So here we have a Western following a classic Eastwood formula - stranger arrives, finds wrongs in the town, sets those wrongs right, and disappears into the sunset. Much like High Plains Drifter, the identity of this stranger is called into question, as at least one person recognises him as someone they believe to be dead. He also seems to disappear and reappear with the ability of a ninja - but on the other hand, a viewer could just as easily accept that the stranger in this case is real, corporeal, and that the rest is just superstition. Presenting a dual view like this is a very good trick, opening the movie up to more audiences. As a Western this is also fantastic, right up there with the best - even if Eastwood does seem overly fond of rape scenes and questionable relationships. Still, great work - perhaps not as dramatic as Unforgiven, but with a shootout as good as the OK Corral. 4.5/5

#2 - WYATT EARP

Stars - Kevin Costner, Dennis Quaid, Joanna Going, Catherine O'Hara

Director - Lawrence Kasdan

Memorable Quote - 'You'd be doing me a favour if you called me either Wyatt, or Earp. Not both.'

Review - This really is not as good as the movie above. Costner is... ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous. Apart from the fact that he is the same age throughout the movie in a way that is very clear, when he should in fact be quite young by the start. This is quite simply an ego-play, like Braveheart but less successful, an older Hollywood actor thinking he can still take on the role of a classic character. Historically the film is surprisingly accurate for a Hollywood production, but in terms of being a good movie it can't come within fifteen miles of Gunfight at the OK Corral. It actually took me three days to watch this, in sections, since I ended up getting too bored after around half an hour. The only plus point for the movie was Quaid's deadpan performance as Doc Holliday, which fitted very well with my own mental idea of how Holliday would have been. Really not worth watching again. 1/5

#3 - APACHE

Stars - Burt Lancaster, Jean Peters, Charles Bronson

Director - Robert Aldrich

Memorable Quote - 'Even a hawk is an eagle among crows.'

Review - First of all, who thought it was a good idea to spray-tan Burt Lancaster and pretend he was an Apache? Because, seriously, their judgement was off! By the end of the movie you kind of get used to it a bit and you accept the character, but for a long time it is completely distracting, not to mention the fact that the female lead has the same issue. There is something almost comical in the way they talk and their suprise at Western things, although of course it is done in an attempt to be realistic. I'm not entirely sure how far they succeeded in that. It was alright as far as an easy watch goes, but I think it has lost a lot through the process of time - most of it just looks ridiculous now, and Lancaster's acting style is also a relic of a bygone era. 3/5

The Crazies, Zombieland, Nine

Kind of a theme going on with the first two movies in this post. Then a completely unrelated third one, hurray!

#1 - THE CRAZIES

Stars - Timothy Olyphant, Radha Mitchell, Joe Anderson, Danielle Panabaker

Director - Breck Eisner

Memorable Quote - 'Fuck you for what you did.'

Review - You know what really annoys me about the horror genre? Look at this. This is a well-filmed piece, using brilliant techniques and beautiful framing. It has great actors and a premise that stands out from the crowd. It takes a well-known and popular formula and makes it better. But the characters in the movie are still so damn stupid that you end up not feeling sorry for them at all! For example, what kind of pregnant lady who keeps being threatened by people with guns would leave a bulletproof vest lying by the side of the road? Why, knowing that the government want you dead, would you decide to head for the nearest town where you often work and where people know who you are? Why, if you are on the run, would you walk straight down the centre of every road instead of trying to find a little cover? Add the fact that everyone seems to forget she's pregnant after a while, and she goes through several crashes, attacks, terrifying situations etc which would be enough to bring on a miscarriage, while experiencing no discomfort or indeed concern for the baby's welfare. However. Everything I said at first still stands, and this is a good movie. Olyphant never fails to do well, though he is becoming slightly typecast, and the government twist was very nice. I just wish people would put a bit more effort in. 4/5

#2 - ZOMBIELAND

Stars - Jesse Eisenberg, Woody Harrelson, Emma Stone, Abigail Breslin

Director - Ruben Fleischer

Memorable Quote - Tallahassee: 'I'm not great at farewells, so uh... that'll do, pig.'
Columbus: 'That's the worst goodbye I've ever heard. And you stole it from a movie.'

Review - First point to note - this film was very clearly written for Michael Cera, and Eisenberg is a very clear imitation. It is actually quite spooky how similar their voices and acting styles are. Aside from that, Woody Harrelson is fantastic as ever and it's nice to see Breslin sticking to the 'alternative' roles. Stone is alright as well, though not as memorable. The celebrity cameo of Bill Murray is actually amazing, particularly in the fact that he agreed to do it, and the script and the direction are both stand-out fantastic. The choreography of some of the fight scenes was also brilliant, particularly in the supermarket scene. I really enjoy this new style of film-making that involves placing text and graphics over the scene in a very clever way, and this is a very good example of that technique in action. There was a little something missing that I can't quite put my finger on, but in general this was a very good little movie with all the right notes - highs, lows, uplifting human drama and lots of good, old-fashioned gore. 4/5

#3 - NINE

Stars - Daniel Day-Lewis, Penelope Cruz, Judi Dench, Marion Cotillard, Sophia Loren, Nicole Kidman, etc etc, I could go on for hours

Director - Rob Marshall

Memorable Quote - 'What would you like to see that I haven't already shown you?'

Review - One thing you can always say about Daniel Day-Lewis is that he is a brilliant character actor. Who can forget the powerful, callous Daniel Plainview, or the gang leader Bill Cutting, once seen? He is also very selective in the roles he takes... which is why this movie is so odd. It's terrible. Day-Lewis is brilliant, yes, of course, but the rest of the film? Dench is far too English to play a French woman, Fergie does not even look like Fergie, all of the songs go on for far too long, all of the dance sequences are boring, and the storyline is barely present throughout the film at all! Day-Lewis being great is literally the only plus point! I saw a lot of good press for 'Nine' when it first came out, and I was expecting this year's 'Chicago'... but what I got with this film was just another 'Dreamgirls'. 1/5

Unforgiven

Another as-I-watch review this time.

UNFORGIVEN

Stars - Clint Eastwood, Morgan Freeman, Gene Hackman, Richard Harris

Director - Clint Eastwood

Memorable Quote - 'Maybe we ain't nothing but whores, but by God, we ain't horses.' and, 'You ain't ugly like me. It's just that we both got scars.' and, 'It's a hell of a thing, killing a man.'

Review - Even from the very first scene, there is something quite pretty about this movie, along with something a little sinister. The long shots, a Western tradition, are here combined with beautiful skylines. The first action sequence is worthy of any horror flick worth its salts, and is summed up quite neatly by Will's one-word reaction: 'Jesus!'. The two kids are the cutest little things, and a real humour comes in while Will tries to catch the pigs and get on his horse. However, there is still a sense of wrong in the way that he rides out, leaving his kids alone while moralising to them even as he leaves. Kind of like one rule for him, one rule for them, and plus he's leaving them defenceless... but anyway. Eastwood movies aren't particularly known for their moral uprightness, I suppose.

Morgan Freeman is always a welcome sight in any movie, and he's also known for his subtle humour, which he again displays well alongside Eastwood's small touches. We then get some lovely travel montage scenes, all in the orange of sunset (how long did this sunset last for, exactly?). The fireside scene gives us the biggest character development we've had so far, giving both characters a little depth.

The next sequence is suitably comic, as English Bob carries out his continued routine of Queen versus President. However, this is again juxtaposed with the very serious Western business of Little Bill's attack, leading the film through a string of highs and lows in a way that actually comes across as quite sophisticated in this genre.

One thing that strikes me very much about this movie is the realism. When Will falls off his horse, instead of leaping back up he bloodies his nose. The Schofield Kid is short-sighted, and the hardened killers complain about sleeping on the ground in bad weather. Then of course there's the repeated theme of Will not being able to get on his horse. The feud between Bill and Bob is done well, with the tension as Bill offers him the gun in his jail cell again juxtaposed by the sudden downpour back with the three bounty hunters. I also adore the way that Bob suddenly becomes a Londoner after he has been beaten up, losing his posh English accent.

Round about this point we get into real Western territory. Bill is not all for show, like Bob - he's a real Western gunslinging killer, and we begin to worry a little - all the more so when we learn that Will has a fever. The next scene is tense, but the humour returns as Freeman falls through the window half-dressed - hardly the arrival of the cavalry! There's that realism again.

After Will's fever breaks, the scene out in the snow with the cut-up woman is about as touching as any you'll get in a Western, and almost heart-rendingly painful at points, as she misinterprets his chastity for disgust at her appearance, then uplifting. The next scene again goes back to the humour, as The Kid has to ask what's happening thanks to his eyesight (I know how he feels). I guess the place where this movie really shines out against its genre is the moral undertone - represented most strongly as Freeman's character walks away from the operation. And of course, there's the fact that they are on a mission of justice rather than of retribution for a slight to their pride.

The way the camera follows the gunfight out at the cabin is exceptional, followed by that dramatic wide shot. The dialogue throughout is pretty special. I love The Kid's admittance that he took his first kill at the cabin, the mix of pride and shame and sorrow. The ending, too, is perfect.

Also, the final bar shoot-out scene is absolutely EPIC.

'We all have it coming, Kid.' 5/5

King of the Hill, Scott Pilgrim vs The World, Kiki's Delivery Service

#1 - KING OF THE HILL (El rey de la montaña)

Stars - Leonardo Sbaraglia, María Valverde, Thomas Riordan, Andrés Juste

Director - Gonzalo López-Gallego

Memorable Quote - n/a, all in Spanish

Review - Hm, this is an interesting one. Of course it's a generic format - man gets lost in unfamiliar territory, teams up with girl, tries not to get killed - but this gives the whole thing a fresh look. Instead of forming a bond, the two main characters exchange sex for silence and consistently lie to each other, with Bea also stealing from Quim every time his back is turned. The antagonists are not mutants or rednecks or mental patients, but simply children who clearly do not understand how far their game is going. And when the crucial moment comes, Quim abandons Bea to the mercy of her captors, and - though he changes his mind - does not save her life. The tension is palpable, the sex is tasteful and brief, the gore is perfectly balanced between interesting and unrealistic - this is quite stylishly done. The ending is a little haunting, of course, and it's not entirely a masterpiece, but very enjoyable all the same. 4/5

#2 - SCOTT PILGRIM VS THE WORLD

Stars - Michael Cera, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Ellen Wong, Keiran Culkin, Jason Schwartzman, Brandon Routh

Director - Edgar Wright

Memorable Quote - 'Talk to the cleaning lady on Monday. Because you'll be dust by Monday. Because you'll be pulverized in two seconds. The cleaning lady? She cleans up... dust. She dusts.'

Review - Now, book adaptations have always been a problem for me, as have movie versions of comics or cartoons. Particularly live-action versions. So, simply, I should hate this. But you know what? I can't! It's actually very good. Cera always puts in a decent performance and this one is no exception, pulling off his usual dorky humour with a little extra dork at times. Winstead and Wong were both perfect female stereotypes, and both very likeable - you have to feel sorry for Knives. Culkin was the hidden star (by which I mean that although he was not a main character, he was very good), and the supporting cast were all-round very good. Top-notch and very modern effects almost made you feel you were watching a video game instead of a movie, and it was all very cleverly done. Best moment has to be Scott jumping out of a window ninja-style, and best subtle humour was the 'song about Ramona'. Excellent lyrics. Anyway, most definitely worth a watch and probably worth another watch as well. 5/5

#3 - KIKI'S DELIVERY SERVICE

Stars - Kirsten Dunst, Phil Hartman

Director - Hayao Miyazaki

Memorable Quote - 'If I lose my magic, that means I've lost absolutely everything.'

Review - Where's Wally? That's right, he's in this film, playing Kiki's rather juvenile love interest! And why do 13-year-olds get love interests anyway? Those silly Japanese. Well, I didn't enjoy this one as much as Spirited Away, though it was slightly less morally questionable. Except for the fact that Kiki goes around flashing her underwear all the time, which is a little odd. Anyway, this is good for kids I suppose, but I didn't feel that it transferred well to a mature audience. Being an older Gibli as well, the animation was very simple and not very eye-catching. The cat was funny-ish, but that was really all. Try again, Miyazaki. 2/5