Monday, 13 December 2010

Dexter Season 5 Special

Having said that I would begin to review television shows, I had a little bit of an ulterior motive. That's right - I want to share my Dexpert views on a series that has had me gripped since I first picked up watching it online last year: Dexter, a Showtime treat that has very rapidly become one of my favourite things to do of an evening.

#1 - DEXTER SEASON FIVE


Stars - Michael C. Hall, Jennifer Carpenter, Desmond Harrington, Julia Stiles, Johnny Lee Miller, Peter Weller, and more

Memorable Quote - 'Tick tick tick? That's the sound of your life running out.'
(Memorable Deb-ism: 'Fuck me in both ears.' and 'I would rather put a campfire out with my face.')

Review - We'll take series five in chronological order, and end with a general overview. First up was 'My Bad', an episode I had been looking forward to greatly. The last series ended in utter tragedy with Rita's death, and now the questions were many. How would Dexter deal with Rita's death? How could he balance being a single Dad to three kids with being a serial killer AND a blood splatter analyst? Most importantly, how were his colleagues going to react to him being targeted?

Their reaction, of course, is varied. Some take him as the main suspect thanks to his first words after the police arrive, seemingly a confession, though others - like his sister Deb - still believe in him. Although that faith is usually misplaced, here it is correct, and it is almost painful to watch Dexter face the possibility of being sent to jail for the one crime he did not commit. But this is episode one, and as a savvy viewer we can already begin to expect that he will get away without charges - though not without an emotional cost. The moment that Dexter realises, too late, that he was truly in love with Rita is the most heart-string-tugging moment of the entire series to date, and was very well done. Although Dexter may carry a dark passenger, he is not as emotionally dead as he thought, which will continue to bring an interesting spin to the rest of the season (and, no doubt, season 6).

Episode two, 'Hello Bandit', introduces a new bad guy to the screen, in what will eventually become a season-long arc. Boyd Fowler is the name of the man picking up roadkill and also indulging in a little spot of murder on the side, but Dexter does not yet realise what he is getting himself in to. In fact, his initial determination to be a good father and nothing more is thwarted completely this season, right from the start when he takes Harrison to investigate blood inside the van that will lead him to Boyd. This episode also sees the start of two other story arcs - the Santa Muerte case, and Debra's relationship with Quinn, which actually works perfectly. The two of them look good together and have real chemistry, as well as matching attitude problems, and we know that both of them understand what it is like to be lied to and to lose someone that they thought loved them. We see Astor turn into a brat and demand to leave in another demonstration of Dexter's newfound human emotions, and finally are introduced to the Barrel Girls for the first time. Although this episode seems to be mostly a way of moving the plot forward, there are small nuggets of brilliance - though I am beginning to become skeptical as to how Dexter manages to swing all this time tracking down killers without attracting attention.

'Practically Perfect' brings in a new character, Harrison's Irish nanny, Sonya. Fact fans will be amazed to know that this is the same actress that played Catherine of Aragon in The Tudors - I know, I had to Google it in surprise, too. Anyway, this is an episode full of tension as Dexter is nearly revealed for who he is when he attempts to kill Boyd and is tranquilised instead. Thankfully for him, he already gave a false name (Darrel Tucker), and Boyd most definitely has something to hide. For both of them, calling the police is not an option. Dexter clearly thinks that this is because of the previous killings, but one of the biggest shockers of the season comes when Lumen, at this point an unknown female, sees Dexter killing Boyd. This has to be one of the highlights of the entire series, as it propels the show into a new layout: previously it has been Dexter vs one big bad and one supposed ally who must be stopped for the length of a season (Ice Truck Killer/Brian and Doakes, then Doakes/Lila, then the Skinner/Miguel Prado, and lastly Trinity, who fulfilled both roles). This season, however, there are mulitple big bads who are all part of the same equation under Jordan Chase/Eugene Greer, but the ally is someone he can finally trust. He cannot kill an innocent, so it was clear from the outset that Lumen would either have to turn him in, or become his partner in crime, a transition that felt natural and genuine.

This was also the first episode for Sergeant Lopez, who played a disappointingly small role in the storylines. It was interesting to have a sort of mini-Deb for her to play off against, and I hope that character will be used more in the future. The argument between Batista and LaGuerta here was interesting character development, but something that I could not really care about. For me, it was simply distraction from the main events.

In 'Beauty and the Beast', Quinn is getting towards the ideas that we all were afraid of him getting to - the connection between Dexter and Kyle Butler, and more than that, the connection between Dexter and the death of Trinity. It is painful to watch him destroying his relationship with Debra as well as getting close to taking down our hero, but again - thinks the voice in the back of the head - this is only the first part of the season. If Dexter was going to go down, it would not happen yet, and therefore the fear rests not with Dexter but with Quinn. Is he going to implicate himself and do a Doakes? I for one certainly hoped that he would not - Quinn's kinda awesome, and the last thing we want is for repeating storylines to give Showtime an excuse to cancel the show. Again, this is a moving-forward episode: there's a break in the Santa Muerte case that goes wrong, and Dexter struggles with Lumen, but nothing is really developing yet.

In 'First Blood', Dexter begins to worry about Harrison having a dark passenger, though this idea is lost later on in. I'm hoping that it is lost now only to reappear next season, as it is an interesting concept and one that will no doubt provide a wealth of storylines (Harry teaching Dexter teaching Harrison - the irony of the name is not lost here). We begin to understand that Lumen is serious about killing the Barrel Girls men, but is she in the right state of mind to be making any decisions at all? By the time she tries to shoot Robert and is stopped by Dexter I am beginning to grow tired of her sniffling. She needs to man up and get some justice, or at least that's my view.

Deb visits a tattoo parlour with Masuka, one of my favourite comedy moments of the season as he suggests she get a tattoo:
Masuka: 'Hey, since we're here, why don't you get Quinn's name put on your -'
Deb: 'Hey. I have a gun.'
Masuka: 'I'll just wait in the car.'

We also see the supposed departure of Lumen, though it is clear that she is not going to give up without a fight, and when she gets back into the cab we can only wonder what she has planned.

'Everything is Illumenated' marks the halfway point of the season, and is quite a nice pun. Incidentally, the fact that Lumen sounds like Luminol, and that Dexter is a blood expert, is also quite a tidy little pun, but never mind that: this is the episode where things get intense. The scene where Dexter is almost, almost caught by Deb and the gang and JUST manages to escape, setting up the two dead bodies, had me on the edge of my seat. It's the halfway point now and you almost begin to think that hey, they probably could run a trial for six episodes, couldn't they? It's possible that he could get caught now, isn't it? But thankfully, no thanks to Lumen, Dexter makes it, and from this point it is clear that he is committed to helping Lumen - the cost of not doing so could be too much for him to carry. We have a little more on the Liddy storyline and on Santa Muerte, but nothing too important just yet.

Episode seven is 'Circle Us', where we finally meet Jordan Chase fully. Johnny Lee Miller plays this part excellently throughout - he is truly creepy, and actually quite motivational as well. The cold-blooded psychopath is playing the innocent game for now though, as Dexter points Miami Metro in the direction of Boyd to detract attention from Cole, thinking that this will buy him time to get to him himself. We also have the unfortunate ending to the Santa Muerte case, a shoot-out that really seems to serve very little purpose. I appreciate being shown that there are cases that Dexter does not stick his oar into, but since the show is actually called 'Dexter' I felt that a case running for seven episodes and ending with such drama was a bit superfluous, particularly as it now ends without a backwards glance. More Liddy drama building up, as Quinn finds out that Dexter is working with Lumen. From this point I began to respect Harrington as an actor more and more, as some of his scenes with Liddy and Deb are really great stuff, developing him from the cop-with-a-bad-streak of last season.

Their arguing intensifies in 'Take It!', where Liddy has photographs of the dumping of Cole Harman's body. Cole was of course killed during the seminar led by Jordan Chase, in a few scenes that are really quite chilling. Dexter is turning into a hero, Rita and Lumen's avenger rather than the monster he usually associates himself with, coming to Lumen's aid just as she is trapped by the man she is afraid of. LaGuerta suspends Deb etc etc, still not interested in this storyline, beginning to wonder if they're trying to write LaGuerta out for making really stupid decisions. She's becoming her superiors, it seems, and while she and Batista make a good couple she is making less and less sense as the episodes go on.

In 'Teenage Wasteland', we get a bit of a shock. Astor has returned, with quite a large amount of make-up and alcohol, demanding to know who Lumen is and vomiting all over the damn place. Kids these days. Long story short, the outcome is that Astor likes Dexter again, and Olivia's stepdad has been hitting her. The scene where Dexter beats him so that he will leave her alone is the most indicative yet of the change that has come over him this season, and it is not an unwelcome one. Dexter is doing human things! Yay! What Harry says to him in the car, too, must be a pretty large personality turning point. We also realise that Quinn and Deb's relationship is getting pretty deep pretty fast, and that she may even be in love with him (which I can't really blame her for).

We also get our first idea of Emily, whose blood is removed from Jordan's necklace in typical nick-of-time Dexter fashion, and the Boyd case is reopened, spelling trouble for Dexter. Now we're beginning to worry about how he's going to juggle all of these things - finding and killing Lumen's captors, stopping homicide from finding them first, hiding Lumen's true identity, and avoiding Liddy - who he doesn't even know is watching them. Oh no, Quinn, I keep thinking. Do NOT do a Doakes. This episode has my favourite ending so far, as the moment when Jordan Chase says Lumen's name over the phone was pretty damn terrifying - he's onto them! I don't think I've ever gasped as dramatically in my life.

'In the Beginning' is episode ten, and Dexter wisely sends Harrison away to be protected by Astor and Cody and their grandparents. Meanwhile, he must do yet more covering up of mistakes, as the DVD of Lumen must be removed and replaced. Emily is a puppet of Jordan's, as we spine-chillingly discover, and we begin to wonder if this crazy man might actually outwit Dexter and Lumen. But if Trinity couldn't, can Jordan Chase? Well, he almost does - but in an editing twist that was quite spectacular, we discover that Dexter and Lumen are working in a different house as they kill another rapist, meaning that they are quite safe from discovery. Not, however, safe from Liddy, who has been filming it all. Surely, surely with concrete evidence like that, this is the time when Dexter will have to go down?

Either way he ends up sleeping with Lumen, which is quite nice for him, I suppose. Well done, Dexter.

'Hop a Freighter' is next, and with only two episodes left things are heating up. Dexter finally realises that Liddy is filming them, though he still does not know the culprit, nor exactly how badly they have incriminated themselves. On finding that it is Miami Metro surveillance gear, however, he is shocked, and clearly rattled. Is this going to be the episode in which he looks into his sister's eyes, knowing that she knows the truth? Thankfully not, because Liddy is stupid enough to confront a serial killer, and gets himself added to the serial list because of that stupidity. Thus ends one of the greatest threats that Dexter has faced to date. The tension is skillfully built as Quinn arrives, and that little drop of blood is the best foreshadowing since Final Destination 2. The tension continues - we know that Jordan has Lumen, and unbelievably we also see him kill Emily, who had been assumed to be important to him in some way. A little side note - there must be so much of Lumen's hair and various other fibres at all of these crime scenes, but it does not seem at all as if she is going to be caught. Ah, well.

Deb puts together her romantic vigilantes theory, which is terrifyingly close to the truth, and it is clear that she has not fallen out of love with Quinn at all. If only she knew the extent of how he could have been involved in her brother's downfall!

The season finale was titled 'The Big One', and finally aired last night (at the time of typing this). Going into it there were several things to be resolved: Is Quinn going to be framed or get away with it? How will Dexter save Lumen? and, more pertinently, WILL Dexter save Lumen? Those three questions were answered, though only two of them answered satisfactorily. I am not at all happy with the explanation that 'the bloodwork cleared him', because I require more details than that. What did Dexter do? Did he fake something, or just point out that one drop of blood does not a murder make? How on earth would he get away with any of this? Anyway, the Liddy investigation puts a spanner in Dexter's works, though he is so unhurried that I almost begin to think that he has forgotten about Lumen. The boat conversation between Dexter and Quinn is laced with both hidden questions and hidden answers, and added another level of tension to the scene.

Many of the trademark Dexter elements appear in this episode: Deb and Miami Metro are racing against Dexter to find the big bad, Deb is the one leading the investigation, someone Deb loves is in jeopardy, many things are very close to going wrong and yet go down smoothly (such as the moment Lumen is almost discovered by a fruit seller), and also the moment of pure happiness after the kill foreshadows something terrible happening. Remember when Dexter was all happy about getting rid of Trinity, only to find that Rita was dead? Well, this is something similar. When I saw Lumen laughing on the boat and looked at how much time was left in the episode, I knew that she was not going to make it to the end of the season - and indeed, she walks out on Dexter about five minutes before the end. This is something that I don't understand. How can he let her go with all that incriminating knowledge? How can she risk leaving him, knowing that he could incriminate her out of spite?

The three best moments of this episode are the heart-stopping scene where Deb finally catches Dexter in the act, albeit unknowingly, and the act of kindness she shows him by allowing him and Lumen to escape. Just goes to show that all Deb wants is a little love. Then there's the moment that Jordan Chase traces his hand over Dexter's kill tools, pausing at the empty space with a puzzled look for a second before roaring in pain and rage as Dexter stabs him (brilliant acting from Miller again). The third moment comes at the very end, as he tells us 'that nothing is set in stone, not even darkness.' The look on his face as he stares us into the credits is the perfect ending to a great season, and although it is not really a cliffhanger it does promise us that Dexter has not quite softened up yet, and he will be coming back with a vengeance next season.

So, the final verdict? Well, in spite of the flaws such as the boring side-storylines and a few plot holes as to how all this is possible, I think that this is the best season of Dexter yet. The reason? Imaginative ideas have broken Dexter out of his emotionless avenger mode and brought him into a more human frame of mind, a state that we can empathize with - how can we not believe in the pain he feels when Lumen leaves him? The fact that Astor and Cody are soon going to be back in the mix is also promising, and I for one simply cannot wait for season six. Something tells me it's going to be a good one. 4.5/5

Tl;dr? Dexter's awesome.

Wednesday, 8 December 2010

Notorious, In The Mood for Love, The Walking Dead S1

A little bit of a change going on from this post - I'm going to start reviewing television dramas, but by season rather than by episode as that would become rather boring. This is largely due to my habit of becoming addicted to shows and watching entire seasons in the space of a day, as happened recently. I would also like to point out that if you like what I'm saying in these posts, there are many ways you can show your appreciation - either by giving the link to someone else, commenting on or subscribing to the blog, or clicking on one of the ads on the site which will lead to me not being quite so poor and therefore able to buy more DVDs. Well, I say that, but to date I've earned 45p, so it may take some time. Still! 45p was enough for four rainbow sherbet sticks with change back in the day, so it's not to be sniffed at.

#1 - NOTORIOUS

Stars - Cary Grant, Ingrid Bergman, Claude Rains, Leopoldine Konstantin

Director - Alfred Hitchcock

Memorable Quote - 'Dry your eyes, baby; it's out of character.'

Review - Ah, it's nice to travel back in time sometimes, isn't it? The tones of this film are wonderful, all soft greys and whites, really quite romantic in the use of light and shadows. The costuming is wonderful also - Grant looks particularly dashing during their horseride, with his casual suit. There were many little goofs in the film, such as the audio not synching with the actor's lips (in one scene, Bergman's lips are not moving at all while she speaks), but these are all things which we may expect more with older films. The dialogue was of course very entertaining, all the back and forth between Bergman and Grant's characters keeping the pace up, and the idea of 'If you had only once said that you loved me' is one that moves the plot forward decisively - and we can't help but groan a little at the stubbornness of both characters that keeps them from admitting it until it is almost too late. The final staircase scene was very much in keeping with Hitchcockian tradition, as was his camero at around an hour in! The famed kissing scene, also, was probably a lot more effective at the time, but I loved the interplay between them and how they egged each other on - whilst one was speaking I was always watching the others' facial expressions ('People will laugh at you, the invincible Devlin, in love with someone who isn't worth even wasting the words on' being the best example of this). All in all, not exactly 'The Birds' but not quite a flop either. 3/5

#2 - IN THE MOOD FOR LOVE (Fa yeung nin wa)

Stars - Maggie Cheung, Tony Leung

Director - Kar Wai Wong

Memorable Quote - 'I can't waste time wondering if I made mistakes. Life's too short for that.'

Review - This is clearly a film with all the credentials of a hit - it won 31 awards, including two at Cannes and a César. They were not undeserved, by any stretch of the imagination: this film is beautifully made, with a distinct touch of that Asian flair that Western filmmakers struggle to emulate. Each shot shows us only what is necessary: for us as an audience, nothing exists of their lives outside of their meetings with one another and their phone calls to their respective partners. Each moment is chosen carefully, and used to the most effect. We see how their lives intersect even before the affairs begin - they pass on the stairs to get lunch, their belongings are mixed up on the day they moved in, they are having the same conversations with their partners. It becomes all the more endearing when they begin to carry out their formulated conversations, going through rehearsals of what will happen if this, what will happen if that, how will they say goodbye. It then becomes sadder when they both go back to the apartments later in life, looking for each other unsuccessfully. It is as if, although they did stay with their partners, they later wish that they had not, which gives the whole thing a more tragic air. The music is wonderfully used to dramatic effect, especially with the repeated themes - this, by the way, being the second very good film that I have seen with 'Perhaps' on the soundtrack, though in this case of course it is 'Quizas'. I definitely recommend it, for the overall feel more than anything else - it is steeped in nostalgia and romanticism, and leaves you wanting to know more. The most fascinating thing for me is that we never see what their absent partners look like, even though we are fully introduced to the lives of less important characters, giving an air of mystery to it all. Worth a watch. 4.5/5

#3 - THE WALKING DEAD SEASON ONE

Stars - Andrew Lincoln, Jon Bernthal, Sarah Wayne Callies, Laurie Holden, Jeffrey DeMunn, Steven Yeun, Norman Reedus, and a whole lot more

Creator - Frank Darabont

Memorable Quote - 'Those doors are designed to withstand a rocket launcher.'
'Well, your head ain't!'

Review - This series begins in a way that some people may find familiar. If you've ever seen '28 Days Later', you're probably scratching your head and wondering how they could get away with producing exactly the same opening idea as the film. Well, I just don't know how they did, but the show is based on a comic book series (which I have not read) and there may be some kind of connection there, though as far as I know '28 Days Later' was not based on a comic. All of that aside, the main character Rick Grimes is a genuine hero, someone that you can easily support as he has just the right mix of righteousness towards saving others, and human desperation towards saving himself and his family. The zombies are also just the right mix of humour and terror - there's no point making a television show too scary and draining it of humour, something the creators seem to understand well. As to the other characters, Glenn is probably the most likeable, Jim the most sympathetic, and Daryl the most intriguing. It was not until the final episode that I realised how cleverly he was introduced - at first it seemed like Merle Dixon was going to be the one to watch out for, but Daryl has easily taken his place as the loose cannon. It just remains to be seen whether Merle will come back, which is probable considering how easily Daryl gave up searching for him: I see vengeance in the future. The big mystery that will tide us over until next series, of course, is what Dr Jenner whispered in Rick's ear, and what impact it will have on their next move. I'm also waiting with bated breath to see the eventual confrontation that must happen between Rick and Shane when he finds out that Shane was making merry with Lori while he was 'dead', because that is going to be one explosive episode for sure. A lot of storyline was crammed in to a very short season, so a lot of loose threads have been left unattended to (where is Merle, how are Morgan and Duane getting on, just why is Dale so attached to Andrea and Amy anyway), but I imagine those things will be dealt with in due course. I know that twelve more episodes have been confirmed, so with a little more time we will hopefully get some real answers. All in all, this was well-produced, fast-paced, and well-scripted/acted, with huge props to the make-up/fx departments because those zombies are killer convincing. Also, riding a horse into a mob of zombies is probably the most badass scene I've witnessed on television in quite some time. 4/5

Saturday, 4 December 2010

Cabaret, Maid in Manhattan, Legion

#1 - CABARET

Stars - Liza Minnelli, Michael York, Helmut Griem, Joel Grey, Marisa Berenson

Director - Bob Fosse

Memorable Quote - 'Screw Max.' 'I do!' '... I do too.'

Review - I was ridiculously surprised by this movie! For some reason I expected something trashy and probably annoying, but this is not the case at all. The songs are catchy and contain a lot of... well, subtleties. The song about three people in a bed foreshadows directly the relationship between the three of them. Sally is a little overwhelming at times, but her zest for life and sense of fun is infectious, while Brian is just completely cute all the way through, during his transformation from awkward English gentleman to bohemian tie and hat wearing father-to-be. I loved the scene where he finally snapped - 'For God's sake, I wish you could hear yourself sometimes! I mean, really hear yourself! CHRIST!' The best song had to be 'Money makes the world go round', with that way of performing so that their voices swap in dominance, and the Master of Ceremonies worked brilliantly as a foil, narrator, and entertaining character. The denouement was really quite sad, and the subtle history lesson we were being given was also wonderful. Particularly during the very last scene - suddenly we notice that the club, from which Nazis used to be thrown out, is now full of them. It's creepy, and it's also true to history. This was an enjoyable experience which I wouldn't mind repeating, and which I recommend to anyone else who hasn't seen it yet. If only to remember that Liza Minnelli did once look human. 4/5

#2 - MAID IN MANHATTAN

Stars - Jennifer Lopez, Ralph Fiennes, Natasha Richardson, Bob Hoskins

Director - Wayne Wang

Memorable Quote - 'What we do, Miss Ventura, does not define who we are. What defines us is how well we rise after falling.'

Review - A re-watch here. Ah, December TV! All the old films are back on again. Generally speaking, Bob Hoskins is quite cool, but this is really nothing more than your average rags to riches romance. He's the rich politician, she's the poor maid, how can they ever be accepted by society, etc etc. However, it does seem a little bit like he only decides to be with her in the end to further his political image, since they can't really, honestly be that attached to each other after only two dates, both of which she was lying to him throughout. It is quite ridiculous that a little Hispanic boy would be able to just wander into a press conference like that, also. It's never really going to be brain candy, is it, a film with J. Lo? But still, it's not entirely hateful and unenjoyable - you get to gawk a bit at just how large her bum actually is. 2/5

#3 - LEGION

Stars - Paul Bettany, Lucas Black, Adrianne Palicki, Kevin Durand, Dennis Quaid

Director - Scott Charles Stewart

Memorable Quote - Bob: 'You know this is crazy, right? I mean... I don't even believe in God.'
Michael: 'Well, that's just fine, Bob. He doesn't believe in you either.'

Review - This movie... this movie. There was so much potential in this movie. Anyone says the name 'Paul Bettany' and you know you have to pay attention, since he usually picks great roles, but this fell just short of the mark. First off, the special effects were not very good at all - I was reminded a little of the fire scene in Queen of the Damned, which was badly done by 2002's standards, and it surprised me greatly that they could not come up with something better in 2010. Maybe it was a budget thing, but still - if you can't do something well enough, just take it out of the movie! There were also a hell of a lot of plot holes. Things like, why isn't Michael on lookout since he doesn't have to sleep? Why isn't Michael on the roof since he's the best shot? Why did Michael fly off, leaving that poor boy to climb all the way up the mountain, when he could have given him a lift? Generally there were a million questions that arose from the plot, and the final scene screamed sequel like nothing before. It seemed mostly like half a story, or only part of a story, rather than a whole film in itself, which is really quite wrong, even if it is intended to be part of a series. Also, it was a little strange that all the posters, DVD prints, etc, had Paul Bettany with wings on, when in the actual movie he cuts them off five minutes in. So much potential - so much potential wasted. 3/5

Sunday, 21 November 2010

The Sheepman, Constantine, Dinotopia

A strange Western, a strange theological drama, and a TV mini-series this time round.

#1 - THE SHEEPMAN

Stars - Glenn Ford, Shirley Mclaine, Leslie Neilson

Director - George Marshall

Memorable Quote - 'We gotta buy some cattle, Boss.'

Review - This is a bit of a funny little Western, taking on the usual theme of revenge and putting it into a different shape. The protagonist, Jason, rides into town intent on grazing his sheep on the nearby cattle lands, earning him a fair bit of attention. It might seem that this attention is bad for business, but, as we soon discover, that isn't his true purpose in town - he's after the Colonel, a big shot in town who knows something of Jason's past. There are rather a lot of long shots of sheep, perhaps too many for my liking, and a lot of lines delivered just to prove how clever and gutsy Jason is. I'm not sure about the ending scene, either, and how easily Dell acquiesces to his manly shoving about, but then it is a little tongue-in-cheek and it is set in a bygone era. All in all, entertaining enough for a lazy afternoon but not worth, say, buying the DVD. 3/5

#2 - CONSTANTINE

Stars - Keanu Reeves, Tilda Swinton, Rachel Weisz, Shia LeBeouf, Djimon Honsou

Director - Francis Lawrence

Memorable Quote - 'This is Constantine. John Constantine. Asshole.'

Review - Now, this has a very amusing script, and visually the cast were very well chosen. Reeves has just the right amount of brooding bad-ass in him to carry the role out, it's just a SHAME that he INSISTS on OVER-STRESSING most of the WORDS in his LINES. Ahem. Anyway, as I was saying, in terms of the picture it's very well done, particularly with the graphic effects and demons, and the androgynous Gabriel was a very nice touch, as was cutting off the wings - though I could not help but wonder how he/she was supposed to go about in human society with the stumps showing all the time, but whatever. The dark humour throughout was perfect, and gained many a chuckle from the people I watched this with (thereby proving it's not just me, y'see). I kind of get the feeling that I shouldn't like this movie, that it's maybe a little TOO Keanu, a little too try-hard, but I do like, so screw what I should do. Plus it makes me want to wear a swishy coat and come up with one-liners, which is never a bad thing. 4/5


#3 - Dinotopia

Stars - Wentworth Miller, Lee Evens, Katie Carr, Terry Jones, Tyron Leitso, Alice Krige

Director - Marco Brambilla

Memorable Quote - Carl: 'Something's making them panic.'
David: 'Something's making me panic!!'

Review - Now, according to IMDB, there are two TV series from the same time of the same name, with different actors. Confusion aside, this is the version I watched as a twelve-year-old, and so it's the version that I rewatched just recently. Being a dinosaur nerd of epic proportions, you can probably guess that some kind of hidden land where dinosaurs not only exist, but also interact peacefully with humans, is a bit of a dream for me. Perhaps that's why I liked, and still do like, this series. It certainly can't be the acting, since literally no one in this series is capable of doing that, except perhaps for Lee Evans - I am genuinely still skeptical as to whether he REALLY was the voice of Zippo, given how unlike his usual voice it sounds. The graphics are actually pretty damn good, on the plus side, and there were very few points where the dinosaurs or other animated elements seemed unrealistic. The script can perhaps be somewhat to blame for the acting quality, as it is truly abysmal (my favourite example: Marion - 'Over here! Over here!' Scout - 'I've found them, they're over there!' Marion - 'They've found us!') It must have had some sort of merit as a series though, given that James Cameron COMPLETELY RIPPED OFF the idea of the Skybacks/Pterandons and who can ride them and how they form mystical bonds for Avatar. Seriously, Cameron was so lazy. There are a large amount of plot holes and dubious elements to the storyline, and the ending is less than satisfactory in that we don't even know if they've decided to stay in Dinotopia or not, but perhaps they did that in order to encourage the purchase of a sequel. Um, anyway, I guess my point here is that this is kind of rubbish, but I like it anyway, in a 'hey look my childhood' kind of way. 3/5

Monday, 15 November 2010

Up in the Air, A Very Potter Sequel, The Proposal

Three very... different review this week. Variety is the spice of life.

#1 - UP IN THE AIR

Stars - George Clooney, Vera Farmiga, Anna Kendrick, J K Simmons

Director - Jason Reitman

Memorable Quote - 'Some animals were meant to carry each other, to live symbiotically over a lifetime. Star crossed lovers, monogamous swans. We are not swans. We are sharks.'

Review - This is a very touching movie, if only for the heartbreaking and also somewhat terrifying reality that it presents. The way his life is shown at first seems unreal - everything is too modern, too fast-moving, and it seems hard to believe that people really can live this way. But, of course, there are people who do fly around constantly for their jobs. There are people like Alex who have a family that they return to between each flight, and there are people like Ryan who hardly know their families at all. There are also people like Natalie who are too young to know enough to realise the repercussions of their actions, and who fall in love too easily. The point of showing you this man doing his talk about how everyone should be alone, a talk you will of course believe to be wrong, is that in the end he was right. If he had followed his philosophy instead of falling for Alex, he would never have minded the fact that he was on his own. Which is kind of a depressing point to make, really. 4/5

#2 - A VERY POTTER SEQUEL

Stars - Joe Walker, Jim Povolo, Darren Kriss, Bonnie Greusen, Lauren Lopez, Joe Moses, Brian Holden, Joey Richter, etc etc etc

Director - Matt Lang

Memorable Quote - See below

Review - Following on from my last post's review of A Very Potter Musical, if you loved that, you'll love this. Many of the cast members return, albeit some of them in different roles, and this is set in the first year of Hogwarts rather than the second, although it actually happens after the events of the last one because they've gone back in time... er. Of course this all makes for plenty of comic moments, and stand-out appearances include Jim Povolo (he of Goyle fame) as Firenze, he who was Cedric Diggory now becoming Lucius Malfoy, and of course Draco with his (her) ever-magnificent entrances. Joe Walker returns as Delores Umbridge, who is pretty damn scary, and there is a new appearance in the form of Brian Holden's Lupin. As before, my best moments:
1. Oh sh*t! You guys are kids! I've got to watch my damn mouth around you little bastards! I'm sorry. Shoot!. I've got to watch my damn mouth around you little bastards. (And the repetitions of this theme)
2. Did you get my text? ... Well you didn't text me back!
3. Lucius: You'll pay for this!
Snape: PUT IT ON MY TAB!
4.Snape: Why that's absurd!
Lupin: You're absurd!
Snape: What?! SAY THAT TO MY FACE!
Lupin: YOU'RE ABSURD!
Snape: THAT'S ABSURD!
5. What the devil is going on heeeere?
6. I… am a racist. I despise gingers, and mudbloods, I hate Gryffindor house, and my parents work for the man who killed your parents, do you want to be my friend?
7. You know, using the potty is a GREAT time to socialize! You just look over to the stall next to you, and you just have a right chat with your neighbor! 'Oh! Hello there! First time using the potty too, eh? Good luck, my man.
8. I drew a picture of you. Pay special attention to the shading on your sweater, it's... rather good. It´s.. quite good. You know... it´s probably the best I´ve ever
done. Actually... can I have that back? Wait... no... I´m TAKING IT! I´ve stolen your favorite drawing! Look, what do you think of this?
*rips drawing* *gasp* NO! Goyle paste it!
9. Lucius: 'She choreographed an affair behind my back with someone I trusted, someone I may have even loved…'
Harry: 'Ollivander?'
Hermione: 'Filch?'
Ron: 'Regulus Black, Sirius’ brother?'
Yaxley : 'Me?!'
10. Red Vines...What the hell can't they do?
Best songs were 'Hermione can't draw', its variant 'Lupin can't sing', and 'Guys Like Potter.' 4.5/5


#3 - The Proposal

Stars - Sandra Bullock, Ryan Reynolds, Betty White

Director - Anne Fletcher

Memorable Quote - Margaret: 'What am I allergic to?'
Andrew: 'Pine nuts, and the full spectrum of human emotion.'

Review - I'll admit it: having seen the trailer about fifteen thousand times, I expected this to be a loosely structured plot linking together the trailer gags with little else in the way of entertainment. I was pleasantly surprised. Although I did spend the entire movie thinking about how oddly shaped Reynolds' face is, I giggled quite a lot too. Of course this isn't a brain-stretcher, but the banter between the Reynolds/Bullock characters is very witty and the Gammy character is adorably funny. This is worth an evening in with a pizza and maybe even cake, for sure, as the entertainment value is high with little need to put much thought in. For a feel-good movie, as well, it actually manages to be quite convincing - the way they argue at the start, they could be lovers anyway, so the transition is easy to swallow. Best part was definitely the whole you're naked/you're wet exchange - total cringe. 3.5/5

Sunday, 24 October 2010

Alien, Black Death, A Very Potter Musical

A varied post, for sure.

#1 - ALIEN


Stars - Tom Skerrit, Sigourney Weaver, John Hurt, Ian Holm

Director - Ridley Scott

Memorable Quote - 'This is Ripley, last survivor of the Nostromo, signing off.'

Review - Like many movies from the last couple of decades, this film was cutting-edge at the time and yet now looks slightly ridiculous. The little baby alien that can only move in one direction and can't bend its neck, the way the special effects look, it's all a bit antiquated these days - but I suppose that's just the curse of our technological advancements, and not something you can really judge the movie fairly on. The idea of the film is alright, I suppose, but nothing really any more exciting than other alien or invader themed-movies, and not really any more scary. There were some facepalm moments, like why on earth anyone would spend half an hour looking for a cat when they are being stalked by an alien that wants to eat them, but again that's a common factor in movies of this sort. Nothing special, really, then, and I don't really get the whole 'strong female' vibe everyone seems to get from Ripley - all she managed to do was save herself. 3/5

#2 - BLACK DEATH

Stars - Sean Bean, Eddie Redmayne, Carice Van Houten, Johnny Harris

Director - Christopher Smith

Memorable Quote - 'She was dead!'

Review - This is a nice little piece, although I think the director has a much higher opinion of it than I do, judging by the 'making of' featurette. It's a little bit like '13th Warrior' without the Antonio Banderas factor, a little bit like 'Priest' (the manga, not the film, adaptation buffs) but with less horror, and a little bit like 'The Village' but less... cool. It's not bad, not bad at all, don't get me wrong, but it isn't amazing either. Johnny Harris makes his second blog appearance in as many posts, he seems to be hot right now, and Sean Bean puts in another 'Lord of the Rings' style performance as usual. So long as they don't make him do an American accent, there's nothing wrong with that. Redmayne put in quite a memorable performance, I think, managing to stand out amongst more well-known actors as a strong lead. The torture scenes were nice and, erm, bloody, which is always... nice? Anyway, the story itself was good enough - not intellectually challenging, and completely predictable, but interesting enough to carry it through. And hey, even 'Sleepy Hollow' was predictable, so there's nothing wrong with that. All in all a good night in. 3.5/5

#3 - A Very Potter Musical

Stars - Joe Walker, Darren Kriss, Joey Richter, Bonnie Gruesen, Lauren Lopez, Joe Moses

Director - Matt Lang

Memorable Quote - See below

Review - Hmm, technically not a film, but something you can very easily find for yourself on youtube, or at http://www.teamstarkid.com/projects/a-very-potter-musical. This is basically hilarious, and well worth a watch if you know anything at all about Harry Potter. Potter is a douche, Ron eats snacks constantly, Hermione is the ugly duckling, Quirrel and Voldemort share a bromance... standout performances make this a parody that could stand alone as a work in its own right. There are just too many good bits for me to choose one single memorable quote, so enjoy this lists of my favourite bits (not necessarily in order):
1. 'What the devil is going on heeeere? Oooh, deja vu.'
2. 'Hey, you...'
3. 'I'm happy as a squrrrrrl, long as I'm with Mr Quirrrrrl.'
4. 'I command you to GET UP and FOLD THEM, at least.'
5. 'You can call me Voldemort. We've reached that point.'
6. 'For example: ten points from Gryffindor.'
7. 'You got me! You little shit! Oh, this is so embarrassing... This is the second time this has happened!'
8. 'I still don't believe you're back.'
9. 'You're right, I am a betrayer. I'm about to betray someone right... now!'
10. 'GOYLE RULES!'
And finally, best song? 'Baby you're not alone' and 'Voldemort is going down', jointly. 4/5

Sunday, 3 October 2010

This Is England '86, Jesus' Son, Invictus

This week featuring a TV miniseries review as well as two films. Thanks to my 20th birthday presents there have been rewatches lately, and thanks to my loss of TV there are no free movies any more, but never fear - I am nothing if not resourceful when it comes to these matters. Hip hip hooray! Having said that though, I reviewed the first two things two weeks ago and only just got round to finding a third, so... well. Don't expect swift updates, is all.

#1 - THIS IS ENGLAND 86

Stars - Joseph Gilgun, Johnny Harris, Vicky McClure, Perry Fitzpatrick, Rosamund Hanson, Michael Socha, Thomas Turgoose

Director - Shane Meadows

Memorable Quote - 'We're not growing up, pal, we're growing sideways.'

Review - I don't usually review TV series, so you can probably begin to guess from that fact alone that I think very highly of This Is England 86. Following on three years from the movie, it is impeccably done with a wonderful cast. The stand-out star is Joe Gilgun, who many would recognise as Eli Dingle from Emmerdale, who needs only to stand in a room with a pet bird to cause me to crack up. Many of his scenes seem improvised, a fact which makes him even more impressive if I'm right. Once you've seen this you won't be able to stop thinking about it for a long time, and I highly recommend it. Despite the fact that it is at times a harrowing watch, it is perfect. The build-up of tension, the familiarity and empathy we feel towards the characters, their interactions... beautiful. I would say that the weak link in the chain is the actor playing Milky, who was not always convincing, but then having only one slightly weak character is pretty damn good for a TV show. The last episode in particular was so amazingly done - the build-up as Lol confronts her father and you wonder what she plans to do, then during the attack you're willing her to fight back, and of course afterwards Combo completely redeems himself for anything he may previously have done. Argh... I'm going to stop writing before this turns from a review into a fangirl essay. 5/5


#2 - JESUS' SON

Stars - Billy Crudup, Samantha Morton, Jack Black, various others

Director - Alison Maclean

Memorable Quote - 'There is a price to be paid for dreaming.'

Review - First of all, not being a junkie myself, I didn't really get most of the movie. I mean, I don't really know how it feels to be in that state of mind, so I can't tell whether FH really is one or is just under the influence the whole entire time. Anyway, quite an enjoyable movie with a style of narration that would still be considered cutting-edge if released today. I have to say it was quite disturbing to see this good-looking, not unreasonable young man sink deeper and deeper into the clutches of drugs and, well, weirdness, since despite his good looks he's not the type of person you would want to take home to your parents, or indeed home at all. It was not an unsympathetic movie, however - many times over we were made to feel sorry for certain incidents, such as the car crash and the death of McInnes, and most notably the handwritten note left by Michelle, which was probably the most emotional part of the entire film. Jack Black makes a worryingly good drug addict, whilst the other bit parts were all also compelling and believable. A good little film, really, considering how weird it all is. 4/5

#3 - INVICTUS


Stars - Morgan Freeman, Matt Damon

Director - Clint Eastwood

Memorable Quote - 'I thank whatever gods may be / For my unconquerable soul. / I am the master of my fate / I am the captain of my soul.'

Review - This is enjoyable just to see the level of acting that some people really can put in when they aren't typecast as idiots (*cough*MattDamon*cough*). However it has produced the downside that now, every time I think of Nelson Mandela, I get the mental image of Morgan Freeman instead. Still, this is worth a watch both as a mini history lesson and a moving piece about freedom and brotherhood. I think for me the best part of the film was seeing the little boy gradually being accepted by the police, until finally you see him wearing one of their hats - a small bit-character who does not even have a name, but instead represents a whole class of people: a nice touch, to see the continuity of the changing perceptions of South African people. Of course it was not as magic as that, but it is a nice metaphor. Also, I only got bored during the very final rugby match, and I dislike rugby, so that's an achievement. 4/5