Sex and Drugs and Rock and Roll, The Bodyguard, Sherlock Holmes

Look, a movie that was actually made this year! I'm current! Hip and down with the kids! Ahem... well, anyway.

#1 - SEX AND DRUGS AND ROCK AND ROLL

Stars - Andy Serkis, Ray Whinstone, Naomie Harris, and, briefly, Mackenzie Crook

Director - Mat Whitecross

Memorable Quote - Mostly a load of song lyrics

Review - Hmm. Now, don't get me wrong, usually I LOVE odd movies - but this one was just, well, odd. I think the jury (Or Dury, haha) is still out on this one where I'm concerned, inasmuch as I can't tell whether it was odd in a good way or whether it went too far. Of course you can't have a film about someone like Ian Dury be all boring and normal, I'm just not sure it needed to go this far off the wall. The start was especially confusing, and if the rest of the film had followed that format this would have been an instant 1 out of 5. I get the feeling the only thing that really saved it was the fact that Andy Serkis is pretty damn good at character acting. Also, potentially not something you would want to use as a guide to good parenting. 2/5

#2 - THE BODYGUARD

Stars - Kevin Costner, Whitney Houston, Gary Kemp, DeVaughn Nixon

Director - Mick Jackson

Memorable Quote - "Frank: Alexander Graham Bell, to see Miss Marron.
Intercom voice: You got an appointment?
Frank: Yeah... the atomic number of zinc is thirty."

Review - Well, what a load of old cheese! Whitney takes a roll that might throw some uncomfortable glances on her own life, considering how close the two are, and Costner's portrayal of the titular character is not what I would call attractive. Still, the story goes as the story goes, and of course there's that dramatic scene just before she gets on the plane for good (personally I prefer the Friends version). There is some humour, but not enough to carry it through. Sadly, I think this is yet another 'eighties classic' that simply does not stand the test of time, thanks to the fashion, the technology, and above all the storyline. 2/5

#3 - SHERLOCK HOLMES

Stars - Robert Downey Jr, Jude Law, Rachel MacAdams, Eddie Marsan, Mark Strong, Hans Matheson

Director - Guy Ritchie

Memorable Quote - "Sherlock Holmes: Un moment, s'il vous plait.
Dredger: Je ne suis pas pressé."

Review - I think it says something, first of all, that there were about fifty other quotes I could have put as 'memorable', even without having to rewatch the movie. Which, by the way, I have done. Downey Jr is impressive here, pulling a performance that could easily have rivaled a Johnny Depp portrayal, and MacAdams is also on simmering form. Law shows his lack of consistency by putting an excellent performance, much better than the ones he has provided of late, and all in all the cast is quite excellent, rounded off nicely by Eddie Marsan (who, of course, made an astonishingly skillful appearance in 'Little Dorritt' for BBC1 last year). The script and direction were outstanding, as well as the humour, which gave an expert balance between comedy and realism. Law and Downey Jr are the perfect squabbling friends, and you know even from the very first scenes that it is not possible for Watson to leave as he says he will. If I was to list everything I like about this film we would be here all year, so suffice it to give my recommendation for anyone and everyone to watch it, and to give my score: 5/5

Also, I was going to provide another picture here, but there were so many good stills I just couldn't decide. Sample them at your own delight here.

Saturday Night Fever, A Perfect Getaway, The Book of Eli

A few more entries already lined up. Here we have a nice mix of an old 'classic', a modern thriller, and an apocalyptic vision of the future.

#1 - SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER

Stars - John Travolta, Karen Lynn Gorney

Director - John Badham

Memorable Quote - 'You can't fuck the future. The future fucks you! It catches up with you and it fucks you if you ain't planned for it!'

Review - This film is in some ways hilarious and in other ways really quite sad. Remember when I said I didn't believe in Travolta as a gangster in 'The Taking of Pelham 123'? This, this right here, this is why. He acts kind of cool sometimes, makes immature little teenager mistakes, and shows himself as a product of his upbringing trying to look for something more - but all he really does is dance in a way that looks quite silly and basic to the modern audience. His drawled little soundbites are probably the only interesting facet of his character, and all of the female characters come across as dumb and repressed. Anyway, not a terrible movie, but one that seems to have dulled with time. 2/5

#2 - A PERFECT GETAWAY

Stars - Mila Jovavich, Steve Zahn, Timothy Olyphant, Kiele Sanchez

Director - David Twohy

Memorable Quote - 'Remember, nothing exists until we get there!'

Review - Everyone loves a good murder thriller, right? The execution (har, har) of this one is nigh perfect, and I was consistently struck by the quality of the directorship. Jovavich was consistently irritating, though, until of course you realise that she was being deliberately so, which sort of half-atones for it. I loved the big twist, which we were of course warned about by the dialogue about film scripts (and I do love self-reflexive movies); even though the identity of the murderers was a possibility that presented itself, it was one of three possibilities, so it was still a surprise when the reveal was made. The subtle introduction of clues was also good - "He's really hard to kill" etc. And then the title is a pun! All in all, well worth a watch. 4/5

#3 - THE BOOK OF ELI


Stars - Denzel Washington, Gary Oldman, Mila Kunis, Jennifer Beales

Director - Albert & Allen Hughes

Memorable Quote - 'Stay on the path. It's not your concern.'

Review - Well, well, well. What a little gem. The treatment of this film is epic, all desaturated as it is, to the point of almost being black and white. Meanwhile it is high contrast, with the kind of HD action close-ups that we saw in The Hurt Locker, all wonderfully managed by the Hughes brothers. In short, this is an example of a post-apocalypse film done well. It outshines many others recently created in its genre (I Am Legend, Children of Men, etc etc) whilst stopping short of alienating all but the most devout of fans of the genre, as is often the risk. This is partly due to the casting - in Denzel Washington we have a perennial favourite who never fails to deliver a great performance no matter the genre, and in Mila Kunis we find a teenage girl who acts just like she is supposed to. We can identify with and empathize with these characters with ease, which gets almost all of the hooking-in done right away. The ending and the little twist there is very nicely done, and overall, though I do try my hardest, I can think of very little to criticise. 4.5/5

In Her Shoes, State of Play, 2012

Well, I'm back from uni and working now, so the movies I guess will slow down a little. Of course I'm behind as usual, so there's a few more to come yet!

#1 - IN HER SHOES

Stars - Cameron Diaz, Toni Collette, Richard Burgi

Director - Curtis Hanson

Memorable Quote - 'When I feel bad I like to treat myself. Clothes never look any good... food just makes me fatter... shoes always fit.'

Review - As far as chick-flick coming of age type things go, I suppose this is alright. Diaz plays her usual childish spoilt girl character, but Collette puts in a better performance as the hard-done-by sister. This is something you might want to watch for an easy night in, as it is unchallenging, but therefore doesn't blow you away. 3/5

#2 - STATE OF PLAY

Stars - Russel Crowe, Ben Affleck, Rachel McAdams

Director - Kevin Macdonald

Memorable Quote - 'You're just seeking the truth. You're a truth seeker. You can't help it, that is just who you are.'

Review - Russel Crowe and Ben Affleck are perhaps badly matched here, as Crowe looks too old and Affleck has officially lost any sort of acting prime he once had. McAdams is better than either of them, and the film is carried through by its storyline alone. It's nice when things all fit together perfectly, a bit like that Honda advert, and the people involved in this project were clearly aware of that. However, some of the twists were predictable and some of them were not really all that interesting. A good film that could have been so much better. 3.5/5

#3 - 2012

Stars - John Cusack, Amanda Peet, Woody Harrelson, Thandie Newton

Director - Roland Emmerich

Memorable Quote - 'The world, as we know it, will soon come to an end.'

Review - I decided that Yuri was my favourite character just before the plane crashed. That kind of thing happens to me all the time... anyway, I'm not entirely sure that John Cusack is a saving-the-world kinda guy. I certainly don't believe he can drive that well. Thandie Newton is annoying as ever, but certain other characters were quite entertaining. I'm not entirely sure why Tamara had to die, and it is entirely too convenient that Carl would also die. Love the way the kids weren't particularly upset by that, by the way. Overall a disappointing movie. Woody Harrelson's a bit of a legend, though. 3.5/5