The Men Who Stare at Goats, The Full Monty, Alice in Wonderland

Alright, here we go then - two films from 2009/10 and one golden oldie. Enjoy!

#1 - THE MEN WHO STARE AT GOATS

Stars - George Clooney, Ewan Mcgregor, Jeff Bridges, Kevin Spacey

Director - Grant Heslov

Memorable Quote - Lyn Cassady: 'It's ok, you can "attack" me...'
Bob Wilton: 'What's with the quotation fingers? It's like saying I'm only capable of ironic attacking or something.'

Review - Hurray, Ewan Mcgregor! It's been too long since I saw a new film of his. Anywho, this film is one of those that suffers from the trailer curse: you watch the trailer, get really excited about it, and then watch the movie, and realise that all of the good bits were already in the trailer. Loses it's impact a bit after that, doesn't it? Still, this is a very nice job as far as comedy is concerned, allowing Clooney to explore that 'wacky' image he seems so desperately to be trying to create, and letting Mcgregor deliver one of his usual roles as the bewildered, slighty out of his depth character (Stay, Moulin Rouge!). It's not bad, but it could certainly have been better. And the Jedi thing was at first a funny joke, then later on embarrassingly clumsy. Terrible shame. 3/5

#2 - THE FULL MONTY

Stars - Robert Carlyle, Mark Addy, Tom Wilkinson, Paul Barber

Director - Peter Cattaneo

Memorable Quote - 'Anti-wrinkle cream there may be, but anti-fat-bastard cream there is none.'

Review - This was actually quite refreshingly surprising for me. How many times recently have I seen a so-called classic, only to find it mediocre at best? The Full Monty, however, does not disappoint. It is actually hilarious, from start to finish, including the famous dole queue scene. It is so inherently British, moreover, that it actually makes you feel sort of proud to live in this country, though I don't really know why male strippers should make one feel proud - anyway, the point is that it's heartwarming and highly entertaining, a winning combo. 4/5

#3 - ALICE IN WONDERLAND

Stars - Johnny Depp, Anne Hathaway, Mia Wasikowska, Helena Bonham Carter, a ton of really famous people

Director - Tim Burton

Memorable Quote - 'Have you any idea why a raven is like a writing desk?'

Review - I actually think the most entertaining part of this film was the race to spot the cameos. 'That's Stephen Fry!' 'Professor Snape is the slug!' et cetera, et cetera. Although the Hatter's Futterwacken really did rival it in excitement levels. Anyway, pretty good as far as adaptations go, and pretty good as far as creepy CGI goes too. I can just sort of imagine members of the team who worked on it cackling into their coffee mugs every time they added a crazy new effect. Anyway, this isn't much of a review, so I'll get down to some proper points: parts of it were a little overdone, perhaps, and there were issues (such as Alice's dress choosing whether it can grow or not every time) that should really have been dealt with. The white Queen was really, really annoying, possibly more so than the red Queen, and I have serious doubts that Alice actually managed to restore any sort of goodness to the world. Where has all the colour gone, eh? 3/5

Reservoir Dogs, The White Ribbon, Law Abiding Citizen

Why yes, it has been a long time since I last updated. I've been too busy having motorsport related fun to watch movies, although having said that I did watch these three before the fun kicked off. But now I'm watching, and therefore posting, again!

#1 - RESERVOIR DOGS

Stars - Tim Roth, Steve Buscemi, Harvey Keitel, Micheal Madsen, Chris Penn

Director - Quentin Tarantino

Memorable Quote - 'Let me tell you what 'Like a Virgin' is about.'

Review - Well, this was not what I expected. This was BETTER than I expected. It's classic Tarantino to pull something like this off - something so messy that, while it becomes obvious that it is a movie, it actually pulls you in and makes it more real in the process. Mr Blonde, by the way, is the awesome side of crazy, not that he didn't deserve to die or anything - I'm just saying, it makes for good movie plotline. Buscemi is predictably hilarious, and Roth just as good as usual - but I really wish he wasn't so well known for his blood-curdling noises and would therefore stop making them. They make my blood curdle, it's not very comfortable. Still, all that assault of the sense is almost Haneke-esqe. Oh, yeah, talking of Haneke... 3.5/5

#2 - THE WHITE RIBBON (Das weisse Band)

Stars - Christian Freidel, Ernst Jacobi, Maria-Victoria Dragus, Leonard Proxauf

Director - Michael Haneke

Memorable Quote - 'Was ist Tod?' ('What is death?')

Review - I have no idea if the above quote is correctly spelled, by the way. That aside, I have to say that first and foremost this film is BEAUTIFUL. Haneke says in the DVD interview that he was influenced by the work of August Sander (one of his photographs, which is by coincidence my personal favourite photograph of all time, is below the review), and you can certainly see that influence shining through. Each frame of the movie could easily be a photograph in its own right, beautifully composed and toned in strong contrast. The whole piece is shot in black and white, which adds a lot to the feeling of tension and suspense created by the mystery. Also the fact that the ending is left open, a typical Haneke trait, is a stroke of genius. I'm sure everyone that watches it will have a very strong feeling about who they personally think was behind the 'mysterious happenings' and why, so it makes a very good talking point. The one flaw, in my opinion? Casting. Christian Freidel isn't good looking enough to be a main man, and often I was distracted from the storyline or the beauty of the composition by thinking 'My, but that's a bulbous chin' or 'Goodness, what a truly ugly man'. 4.5/5


#3 - LAW ABIDING CITIZEN

Stars - Gerard Butler, Jamie Foxx, Christian Stolte

Director - F. Gary Gray

Memorable Quote - 'If Clyde wants you dead, you're dead.' also, '...Or I kill everyone.'

Review - Once again, a film that fulfills my wish for criminal intelligence! Too often are the bad guys also the dumb guys, but this movie completely reverses that. Not only does it create a mastermind who can seemingly kill anyone from anywhere (sort of like Death Note's Kira), but it also creates an interesting good/evil question, blurring the line beyond recognition and asking us, the audience, to find it again. And the truth is, while you do feel a little for Foxx's clear underdog, you know that Butler's anger is justified. Perhaps not justified enough to allow him to kill a whole parking lot of court officials, but still pretty justified. A satisfying film with what is perhaps a slightly unsatisfying ending, given that you do empathise with Butler - but then, the American dream can't allow a criminal mastermind to reach the end alive, even if he is a victim himself. 4/5