Inception, Teeth, Robot, Ninja and Gay Guy Season One

I've finally caught up with the rest of the world with the first review, but I hope I can bring you something new with the third. If you enjoy reading this blog, please click an ad below this post to keep the starving reviewer in bread and cheese!

#1 - INCEPTION

Stars - Leonardo diCaprio, Ellen Page, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Tom Hardy, Ken Watanabe, Michael Caine, Cillian Murphy, Marion Cotillard

Director - Christopher Nolan

Memorable Quote - 'I bought the airline. It seemed neater.'

Review - First off, I'm not sure we should be surprised if a movie with this cast list is awesome. How many awesome people can you fit in a movie at one time? The answer is apparently eight. At stage eight cities start turning in on themselves and the audience's brain starts to melt; at nine awesome people the world will explode. True movie physics. Anyway, I will now attempt to write a full review of this film without devolving into fangirl squeeing, so bear with me. The concept is very well done here: I'm usually very good at understanding movies first time out, and it's quite hard to confuse me these days - one of my most repeated complaints, you might have noticed, is that so many movies are too predictable. This one, though, had me hanging on by the edge of my teeth, particularly as it began without a true explanation of what was going on. The cast are all excellently chosen, and I have nothing to argue with in that area whatsoever, nor indeed in the area of the script. My favourite line? 'Don't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling!'. The visual effects were stunning (obviously) and the plot was both compelling and thought provoking. And now about a million people are probably trying to find out if they're awake or not with their own totems. The reason this is so exciting is because it has raised the bar for the entire movie industry: the challenge is now out there to make something more intelligent, better cast, with better visuals and a more action-packed/intriguing plot. My thoughts? Bring it on. This is just what worldwide audiences need. 5/5

Also, as an enjoyable side note, Inception memes are now pretty much my favourite thing ever. Click here to discover an Inception Memes tumblr.



#2 - TEETH

Stars - John Hensley, Jess Weixler, Hale Appleman, Ashley Springer

Director - Mitchell Lichtenstein

Memorable Quote - 'I can't believe you're still alive!'

Review - I would say that this was the most ridiculous movie I've ever seen, but then again I have seen Zombie Strippers. It was actually kind of hilariously bad, especially once the attacks started; it's hilarious, for instance, that putting in someone from Nip/Tuck makes everything seem much more believable. 'Oh sure,' you think, 'That's the guy who couldn't decide if he was gay or not and got his Dad's girlfriend pregnant, I completely believe he could be in love with his step-sister from the age of 5.' However, there is nothing really in this movie that makes any sense at all. I can't figure out whether it was intentional or not, but if it was then they did it badly because I can't tell. And if it is supposed to be a spoof, then why use an original storyline? This could have been done so much better no matter what the intention was, and really it was just laughable. But not laughable enough that I actually laughed. The only entertainment value really is imagining how you would use that power if you had it, and wondering if there really are people that are so obnoxious about their beliefs and so eager to betray them as well. Oh, I also don't really know why they picked such a plain girl to apparently be this massive boy magnet, because seriously, if I was possessed of male genitalia, I wouldn't be putting it in her. Maybe the director just got all cocky because his first name is like a last name and his last name is like a country. 2/5



#3 - ROBOT, NINJA AND GAY GUY SEASON ONE

Stars - Travis Richey, Ryan Churchill, Brian Giovanni, Nicholas Brendon

Director - Rob Wood

Memorable Quote - ‎"You know, now that I think about it, one time I saw him lift the whole couch with just one hand. Oh, and he plugs himself in to recharge. Oh, and then the other day, we were sparring, and it kinda got rough, and uh... metal. Under the flesh of his arm."

Review - Although this is a short webseries instead of a full length television series, I still feel that RNGG deserves a review. It is certainly one of the funniest things I've seen on youtube - yes, even funnier than those cats that can play piano and say words that sound like human words - and at around five to ten minutes per episode, it's a small dose of fun to take you through your day when you don't have enough time for a break. You can find all of season one at RNGG.com, as well as an appeal for donations to make season two happen. This series is already picking up interest from those in the know - Nicholas Brendon of Buffy fame has guest-starred, and they've even been granted their own IMDB page. Robot is endearingly needy as well as hilariously untactful, Ninja is as mysterious as he is amusing, and Gay Guy (who does have a name, you know) serves ironically as the 'straight guy' looking for love and friendship. Right from the first episode you'll be gigglesnorting into your cornflakes, and it's well worth checking out if only for the fact that you'll only lose a few minutes of your life if you don't share my opinion of it. Seriously though, I'm right. It's awesome. Trust me. 5/5

Mutant

A one-film blog this week; Busy busy busy.

#1 - MUTANT

Stars - Francis Renaud, Hélène de Fougerolles, Nicolas Briançon

Director - David Morlet

Memorable Quote - n/a

Review - This is a fairly different take on the zombie genre, combining it more with the sci-fi haunted ship style of plot: Sonia is trapped in a big building in the middle of a snowy forest, under constant threat from humans who have already mutated, and battling with the fact that her husband has already been infected. We follow her as she attempts to stop him from mutating, deals with newcomers, radios for help from the nearby army base, and generally gets covered in blood 90% of the time. The sound at the start of the film is mostly well done, as at pivotal moments everything goes quiet so that we can take in the events, and it seems that at these moments the time is slowed down. Later on the music during chase sequence becomes almost comic, a technique that removes the tension but also kind of lets us not take it all too seriously. The acting is quite convincing, although at times confusing: for example it seemed to me that Marco was actually acting as his normal self at the end of the film, yet she went and *SPOILER*ed him anyway. Plot eorries aside, each supporting character managed to fit into a very defined niche, thought I'm not sure to what extent they were anything more than cliches. It was enjoyable though, especially in the sense that it didn't label all the outsiders as 'out for themselves' as movies of this type tend to do, although it was perhaps a little disappointing that the bad guys lose/good guys win idea was followed through completely. I'm not sure the ending was completely hopeful - I was wondering constantly about the baby and whether it would be born as some hell fiend or something, since it may have become infected through her, and something about the not-overly-joyous expression on her face in the helicopter deepened my suspicions on this point.

One part of the plot that I felt shone was the way that we actually saw someone go through the process of being infected and mutating. Not only did we see the impact this had on his nearest and dearest as we are used to seeing, but we saw the impact on him himself. We saw the mental torment of realising that there is no way back from this: once your teeth start falling out, you know that even if you are cured you will be left with the marks of this for the rest of your life. These little scenes were very well done, highlighting the torment that he was going through. This is something I haven't seen before personally, though I'm sure someone will be able to correct me if it has been done.

The characterisation was also well done. I felt instantly that I liked the 'good' bad guy more than the rest as soon as he came on the screen, and of course he turned out to be willing to fight to save her. Through small touches, we know just what to expect from each character, and there was something almost elegant about the way this was done.

It was not the most original of films, but there was some attempt at originality, so it should not be written off as just another of the genre. Worth a watch if you feel like seeing a lot of gore, make-up effects that include a guy with his head blown off, and the screams of a slightly bog-eyed French woman. Also worth a watch if you enjoy the genre at all, since it is far from the worst zombie ever made. 4/5