The A-Team, The Hangover, Un Prophete

#1 - THE A-TEAM

Stars - Liam Neeson, Bradley Cooper, Jessica Biel, Quinton 'Rampage' Jackson, Sharlto Copley, Patrick Wilson

Director - Joe Carnahan

Memorable Quote - 'I love it when a plan comes together.'

Review - I've never experienced the original in 'A-Team' in any capacity beyond that of a certain chocolate bar advertising campaign, so this is in no way going to be a comparative review. The first part of the film had me annoying those who knew the original with endless questions: who are the A-Team? What is their actual job? Under whose authority do they act? I never really got any satisfactory answers to those questions, but getting swept away into the action shut me up about it for a while. Said action does perhaps seem a little disjointed at times, swimming from one scene to another with little connection, or a cinematic choice that alienated me a bit. The actors themselves - Cooper, Neeson, Jackson, and Copley - do a good job at combining action with humour, although there isn't much time to really get acquainted with them. Cooper and Copley are arguably the strongest, and it's clear that Cooper is only at the start of what may become a very long career, though Neeson lacked impact. The storyline is so-so; at the end of the day I can't bring myself to care much, but maybe it's just because I tend to switch off when things get overly action-y. 3.5/5

#2 - THE HANGOVER

Stars - Bradley Cooper, Zach Galifianakis, Ed Helms, Justin Bartha, Mike Tyson

Director - Todd Phillips

Memorable Quote - 'Like you said - we all do dumb shit when we're fucked up.'

Review - What a hoot! Anyone who might avoid this film with the idea that it might be lowbrow or full of toilet humour should change their minds. 'Funny' is an understatement - every twist and turn of this tale brings a new shade of humour, as three friends try to remember where they left the groom before the wedding starts.  From the ridiculous to the even more ludicrous, stolen tigers lead us to a Mike Tyson singalong and casino winnings buy a drug dealer from a Chinese gang boss (who, incidentally, delivers some of the funniest lines I've heard in a long time). Cooper makes his second appearance of this blog in a well-played role, though perhaps a little similar to that of his 'A-Team' run. Galifianakis is arguably the star thanks to his overall comic potential, though he is exactly the sort of guy you wouldn't want hanging around in real life. The whole thing plays a little like a Pepsi Max advert, but is no less enjoyable for it. It is almost a mystery-comedy as we try to work out what on earth could have happened, and the investigation is executed well. Definitely worth a watch - laughter is good for the heart. 4/5

#3 - UN PROPHETE

Stars - Tahar Rahim, Niels Arestrup

Director - Jacques Audiard

Memorable Quote - n/a

Review - Well, this is gripping. Following the tale of a good-for-nothing young lad who finds himself in jail at the age of nineteen, and facing a six year sentence, we begin with a feeling of sympathy. Claiming he is innocent, he starts what can only be a horrible time in a concrete cell, with the least of comforts, getting beaten and having his shoes stolen. It all changes when the Corsicans in control of the prison force him to murder another man, and although he is clearly reluctant, he has no choice but to go through with it. Watching his transformation, the clearest view of his internal thoughts is written all over his face in private moments - Rahim is brilliant in this, giving us such a strong indication of what is going through his head without needing to open his mouth. As he goes from strength to strength the roles change - we feel sympathy for the Corsican instead, toppled from his throne by the young pretender. There is little chance to feel disgusted or alienated from Malik - he is hard working and intelligent, first learning how to read and then teaching himself a new language by reading a dictionary, he is also cunning and fair: although he carries out all the Corsican jobs until the finale with loyalty and efficiency, he also carries on his own practices to rise high in the criminal underworld. Compelling, gripping, and driving, this film is a deserving winner of many awards. Full of tiny touches (such as Malik automatically sticking out his tongue in the airport), you won't regret giving this one a try. 5/5

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The Tourist, The Brothers Bloom, Morning Glory

#1 - THE TOURIST

Stars - Johnny Depp, Angelina Jolie, Paul Bettany, Rufus Sewell, Timothy Dalton

Director - Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck

Memorable Quote - ' 20 million dollars worth of plastic surgery. And that's the face you choose.'

Review - 'The Tourist' is full of twists and turns that will lead you on a merry dance across Venice, as Angelina Jolie's sometime criminal's moll selects a random man to pretend to be the criminal himself to fool the world's intelligence agencies, only to find more than she bargained for in her tourist. Of course, it's only natural that any woman would choose Johnny Depp when presented with a train full of gentlemen to pick from, though he does at last begin to show what seem to be a few real signs of aging. The bags under his eyes, whether real or fabricated in make up, are a tiny bit off-putting, though his acting skills remain the same. He convinces entirely as the American teacher out on a trip to Venice to pretend his life isn't dull and empty, until of course he seems to know a few too many tricks and we at last guess the truth. Jolie sparkles as the rich, beautiful enchantress she was made to play, a welcome break from her insistence on the 'gritty' roles. Running through it all and pulling the plot together is Paul Bettany, doing a wonderful job of giving us something to read between his lines, putting undertones to his English Gent exterior. The movie is so A-List that poor old Rufus Sewell only managed to get a cameo in, which should give you some indication of the quality. Although the cleverness of the plot might have been punchier with a different director or target audience - the French, for one, might have handled it better - the Hollywood watering-down is not so severe that it ruins things. 4/5

#2 - THE BROTHERS BLOOM

Stars - Adrien Brody, Mark Ruffalo, Rachel Weisz, Rinko Kikuchi, Robbie Coltrane

Director - Rian Johnson

Memorable Quote - 'The trick to not feeling cheated is to learn how to cheat.'

Review - Why on earth are everyone and their mother hating on 'The Brothers Bloom'? I'm going to put myself out on a limb and say that I actually really enjoyed it. Brody presents himself with the kind of lovable charm he's always been good at, somehow making a cowardly, tired conman underdog into a sympathetic character. The plot is fairly straightforward in terms of what actually happens, but the challenge is to work out what's really going on in each scene - Bloom, Bang Bang, and particularly Stephen spin a web of deceit to the point that even they are sometimes unaware of the truth. The scene in which Stephen pretends to be pretending only for Bloom to later realise he was not (if you've seen it, you'll know) is the most touching of the movie, and possibly the best-done. Bang Bang is a brilliant supporting character, providing a touch of humour and a lot of quirkiness - and her expressions often tell a hundred jokes all by themselves. If I ever need to blow anything up, I will now make sure it's a dinosaur with a Barbie's head. Weisz also builds her part well, though I suppose I'm not sure how someone quite that eccentric would act, and all in all I think the cast did their best. I struggle to find a reason to hate this film: it's no masterpiece, but then neither is it One Magic Christmas, so thank heavens for small mercies. 3.5/5

#3 - MORNING GLORY

Stars - Rachel MacAdams, Harrison Ford, Patrick Wilson, Jeff Goldblum, Diane Keaton

Director - Roger Michell

Memorable Quote - 'I'm not saying the word fluffy!'

Review - Rachel MacAdams seems to be carving a niche for herself in Hollywood. She's the career girl, smart but flawed in some way (naive in 'Up', clumsy here). She's able to charm the older skeptic - Harrison Ford in this case - and ultimately save the day. It may be starting to feel a bit formulaic, but here it works - the film is hilarious at times, funny at others, and produces a smile even in its lowest points. The general story is heartwarming, particularly as Ford gives us a multifaceted character, part grumpy old man and part passionate news reporter, finally swallowing his pride in the build-up to the conclusion. The love story between MacAdams' character and Wilson's is dealt with well in that it does not take over the main arc, instead giving us a full picture of her life that adds to the appeal rather than taking it away. Rather than just another trashy romcom, this is well-made and entertaining, giving you a real sense of a journey throughout. Though it is not exactly highbrow, there's nothing wrong with a bit of light entertainment. 3.5/5

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An American Werewolf in London, Me and My Dick, The Outlaw Josey Wales

Long-named things only today. Enjoy!

#1 - AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON

Stars - David Naughton, Jenny Agutter, Griffin Dunne

Director - John Landis

Memorable Quote - 'Queen Elizabeth is a man! Prince Charles is a faggot! Winston Churchill was full of shit! Shakespeare's French!'

Review - This is quite a puzzling one for me. In theory, it's a good idea - a young American man goes travelling in England with a friend, only to be attacked on a moor by a werewolf. An entire pub full of people who are going to spend the rest of their lives starring in British TV and films fail to warn them, and afterwards deny the whole incident. Boy wakes up in hospital, realises he's accidentally a werewolf, but it's too late because he's already fallen in love with a nurse. Great so far! But, this is when things take a wrong turn. Why does he move in with someone he has only just met, particularly when he has been in a fever for a large part of that time, and believes himself to be losing his mind? The special effects as he turns into a werewolf are honestly not as bad as I expected them to be - not quite as bad as 'The Company of Wolves', for example - but they certainly haven't aged well. The chaotic scene in which he turns into a werewolf whilst talking to dead people in a porn cinema gets even more far fetched as it goes on, if you can credit that - goodness knows I barely can, and I've just seen it. Finally, it comes to an end at what feels like far too soon for the plot - as if the director suddenly realised that they were approaching the length they had aimed for and cut short all further scenes. Kind of depressing for it to end that way, as well. Still, despite all its silly little eighties flaws, it's alright, I suppose. The transformation scene was unrelentingly creepy, and the idea of having the friend stick around and decompose was pretty neat. 3/5

#2 - ME AND MY DICK

Stars - Joey Richter, Joe Walker, Jaime Lynn Beatty, Devin Lytle, Brian Holden, Corey Dorris

Director - Matt Lang

Memorable Quote - 'We don't go to school for class. We go to school for ASS.'

Review - My, my! This is certainly not something you can watch at work or with those of a young age. The title is not a wisecrack or a pun, it is literally a musical about a young man (Joey Richter) and his Dick (Joe Walker), and how the two are inseperable - or are they? Generally rolling through the hormonal and sexual tortures of high school, it then takes a dive into the surreal as various sexual organs manage to detach themselves from their owners to go off to different worlds and hold councils. Joey and Joe are, as always, charming and funny, while Beatty and Lytle hold their own as the opposing couple. Holden is arguably the most hilarious performance as Flopsy, while Corey Dorris and Arielle Goldman take over the darker side of the story in their alternate dimension underworld. Altogether, something for older Starkid fans to enjoy, particularly if you enjoy toilet humour or are unfased by the adult content. The costumes, also, are genius. 3.5/5

#3 - THE OUTLAW JOSEY WALES

Stars - Clint Eastwood, Chief Dan George, Sondra Locke

Director - Clint Eastwood

Memorable Quote - ' Now get back in line before I kick you so hard you'll be wearin' your ass for a hat.'

Review - I don't think I even need to say that I enjoyed this - if you've read this blog before you'll know how much a fan I am of a) Westerns and b) Clint Eastwood. They could show the same movie with different character names twenty times and I'd probably like all of them (Hell, that's pretty much what they did a lot of the time). This, though, is something a cut above the crowd. I wouldn't say it's the best Western I've ever seen, but it is certainly a highlight of the genre. It starts with the touching arc of the young boy Wales tries to save, only to realise that he has been mortally wounded; Wales himself already having lost his wife and son to war. What follows is a tale of vengeance and second chances, as Wales both takes out his enemies and makes new friends, in unexpected places. Eastwood as always is compelling, playing his Byronic, stoic character with talent and grit. More than a Western, this is a film about war and the negative effects that inevitably come with it, along with the hope of redemption from a ruined life. 4.5/5

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Black Sheep, Ondine, Le Serpent

A bit of a tree theme going on today, it seems! Ah well, can't complain - a mid-week update can only mean that I'm catching up on the ol' backlog.

#1 - BLACK SHEEP

Stars - Nathan Meister, Peter Feeney, Danielle Mason, Oliver Driver, Tandi Wright

Director - Jonathan King

Memorable Quote - 'I'm not a tree. I'm a fucking sheep!'

Review - Now here's a little something unexpected - a dark comedy from New Zealand centered around the idea of rampaging, genetically modified sheep who can make people into more sheep - sheep zombies, if you will. The craziness of the idea in the first place gives a good indication of the kind of things you'll see if you watch it: immense sheep wearing hippy waistcoats, vicious embryos with teeth, defeat by helicopter blade and sheep love all make an appearance, and throughout you'll root for the wimpy, sheep-phobic, righteous younger brother, Nathan. Following the popular theory that it only really works if one of "us" becomes one of "them", there is asomewhat predictable twist that nonetheless comes to a satisfying conclusion. The locations are rolling hills and steep cliffs, the kind of beautiful scenery you'd expect in New Zealand, but there are a few disgusting areas as well. Balancing gore and humour perfectly, you won't find yourself bored or annoyed at it taking itself too seriously. Full of laughs, too self-aware to be precocious, and not too over-zealous with the effects, this is well worth checking out. 4/5

#2 - ONDINE


Stars - Colin Farrell, Dervla Kirwan, Alicja Bachleda,

Director - Neil Jordan

Memorable Quote - Priest: 'And I can't marry her.'
Syracuse: 'No, you're a tree.'

Review - For a night in with pizza and wine, this is nothing short of a treat. Starting as a modern retelling of an old myth, it is sweet and light, though darker depths are hinted at in the characters' backstories and reputations. Annie's medical difficulties add another element to the fairy tale - could this be her magical help from the seas coming to cure her? Things quickly take a turn into reality, however, as the truth slowly leaks through: Ondine is actually an illegal immigrant and drug mule, who has escaped from her dealer and wants to keep away from him for good. By leading dangerous men to their door she risks Syracuse and Annie's lives, and Syracuse allows himself to get so sucked in to the fairy tale idea he almost ruins everything. As the film powers towards its conclusion the tension builds, and everything seems to be getting worse and worse - will the fairy tale ending ever come? 'Ondine' will at first entrall and enchant, then keep you on the edge of your seat, and finally send you off to bed feeling satisfied. Farrell's brooding performance is perfectly matched by the mysterious selkie and his witty daughter. Fully recommended. 5/5

#3 - LE SERPENT

Stars - Yvan Attal, Clovis Cornillac, Pierre Richard, Olga Kurylenko

Director - Eric Barbier

Memorable Quote - n/a

Review - This one is a thriller again - you know how much I love my French thrillers - and what is strongest about it is the deep sense of desperation you begin to feel on behalf of the main character. Surely, surely, there is no way out for Vincent? Plender is a great villain, striding around in his black overcoat, matching thuggish looks with sharp intelligence and appearing every which way Vincent turns. The film plays like a mystery novel, in fact: every new arc is a puzzle we must solve, trying to outguess the movements of each character as their mutual backstory is gradually revealed. You feel that Plender really is a dangerous force, someone who could destroy Vincent's whole life and take it for his own if he wanted to, and the only question seems to be how long Vincent can hold on for. Some of his actions may not follow logically, but they are the actions of a man desperate to clear his name and rid himself of any legal issues before his children are taken away from him. Lastly, he becomes a man desperate to save those children from what might be an unpleasant fate. Well constructed with carefully created characters, I enjoyed this thoroughly and highly recommend it. And come on now, this is the twenty-first century - don't be a Philistine and let the subtitles put you off. 4.5/5

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Right At Your Door, Tropic Thunder, Humains

Well, hello, dear readers! Another little update, two thrillers and a comedy.

#1 - RIGHT AT YOUR DOOR

Stars - Rory Cochrane, Mary McCormack, Tony Perez

Director - Chris Gorak

Memorable Quote - n/a

Review - This movie is a bit of a strange one. I've seen a lot of bad reviews of it, though most of them hinge around labeling the actions of the characters as unrealistic, an argument that can easily be overcome with a little logic (I for one found the ideas very realistic, given the thought processes that the script implied). It isn't the best movie that I have ever seen, but the cast is not a-list and neither was the budget, so that is probably to be expected. The plot at least was a new variant on a popular theme, and the twist at the end packed a killer and unexpected punch. The radio reporters in the background of the scenes provided a constant sense of how the situation was unfolding whilst not giving out too much information - the facts they came up with only seemed to bring up more questions about what was going on, which is great - the less you know in this situation, the less you can point at as scientifically inaccurate or implausible. Large swathes of the film were dedicated to looking around miserably or staring at one another, which may have attributed to some negative opinions, as it slows the pace considerably, making it all the more shocking as the frantic last scene takes over. The sub-plots (is she having anaffair? did the Spanish guy find his wife?) are left mostly unanswered, and although they could have given the film more depth there perhaps was no reason to overcomplicate a simple premise. I think more could have been made of this, but that does not make it a terrible film. Worth a watch if you're into the apocalypse scene and want to see it done differently. 3/5

#2 - TROPIC THUNDER

Stars - Robert Downey Jr, Ben Stiller, Jack Black, Jay Baruchel, Steve Coogan, Brandon T. Jackson, Tom Cruise

Director - Ben Stiller

Memorable Quote - 'Now the one man who made a difference five times before... is about to make a difference again, only time this, its different.'

Review - It goes without saying, when you look at the cast list, that Tropic Thunder is a very funny film. Jack Black for once finds a role that fits his goofball act perfectly, and with his looks changed you kind of forget that you're watching him do the same character as always. The storyline is an interesting concept - a set of actors who are filming a war story reenactment end up actually fighting for their lives, though at first the do not realise it. I can't pick out one person as the best performance, though Robert Downey Jr's was the most daring, and for that I can only salute him. A lot of the scenes were far-fetched and you can only really handle this as a comedy, since it goes so far into farce it almost comes out the other side. Stiller directed well, but the prominence of his own character raises a few questions - is this just an exercise in ego-grooming, for one? Whether it is or not, it works, and as an audience I suppose that's all that should matter to us. Like many viewers, the Simple Jack plot left a bad taste in my mouth; not because it satirized disability, but because it was awkward and largely uninteresting. We could have heard about the film without needing to see it, and again I think this is down to Stiller's need to feature heavily. Lastly, the biggest surprise comes from Tom Cruise - well done if you managed to recognise him before the opening credits, because this is a role that it's very difficult to believe is him until you've seen the actual evidence. The fake trailers were a good idea, though they maybe could have taken it even further. 4.5/5

#3 - HUMAINS

Stars - Lorànt Deutsch, Sara Forestier, Dominique Pinon, Manon Tournier

Director - Jacques-Olivier Molon, Pierre-Olivier Thevenin

Memorable Quote - n/a

Review - 'Humains' is another take on the people-get-lost-in-a-strange-place-and-attacked-by-natives plot. This time it's Neanderthals who are to blame, having managed to survive to modern times in a single cave system somewhere in a valley where no one but a few locals go. Now that they have run out of fertile females, they desperately need to impregnate a human woman, or their race will die out forever. If you like the sound of the plot so far, you will want to watch it. It's a thriller but not as scary as it could be, and some of the acting perhaps leaves a little to be desired. You'll be happy when some people die, but shocked when others do. The very final scene was quite intense, and I'll freely admit I didn't get it at all. Either it was an attempt at being dramatic which failed, or there was a deeper message I failed to grasp. Perhaps someone can enlighten me. Anyway, it wasn't a terrible film, and there were some moments that were quite cleverly done - for example, early on the tension was built several times only to have nothing actually happen, putting your nerves on edge and eventually lulling you into a false sense of security which was quickly shattered. There was a nice, neat full-circle moment towards the end as the earlier events of the film were explained by later discoveries, and there was certainly no softness in the inexorable execution of the characters. Good if you want an easy horror film, better if you want to practice your language skills. 3/5

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