Pretty Woman, The Back Up Plan, The Invention of Lying

It's romcom time...


#1 - PRETTY WOMAN

Stars - Julia Roberts, Richard Gere, Hector Elizondo, Laura San Giacamo

Director - Garry Marshall

Memorable Quote - "In case I forget to tell you later, I had a really good time tonight."

Review - This is a classic, and you can tell right away by how good the soundtrack is. Even as someone who was not born when the film came out, I recognised every single song playing in the background, marking this out as a huge part of popular culture at the time. Gere shines in this with a face full of expression and a character that keeps you guessing for quite a while, as Roberts is full of energy and some kind of charm that only a newcomer to Hollywood could bring to the table. Her manners and way of walking complete the characterisation right down to a T, making this a special performance that is, ironically, a far cry from what she normally achieves these days. It is ironic, indeed, to think of the stereotype of the classy woman that she often falls victim to these days! The scene where she returns to the clothes shop where they refused to help her is a classic, and the hotel manager is a real charmer too. The only criticism I could have is how awkward and passionless it seems when they kiss and how much I had to shout OH GOD STOP KISSING OH GOD before they did. 3.5/5

#2 - THE BACK UP PLAN

Stars - Jennifer Lopez, Alex O'Loughlin, Michaela Watkins

Director - Kate Angelo

Memorable Quote - "You stole my cab!"

Review - This one is maybe stretching the boundaries of believability to create a madcap situation, but actually I enjoyed it. I was ill and couldn't eat anything and had to wear five blankets to stop shivering, and this was exactly what I needed to feel better. I actually laughed out loud at a couple of points, and for a nothing of a romcom you can't say fairer than that. Obviously don't go into it expecting Fight Club-esque twists and clever lines, but for the genre it is one of the better ones, and definitely scores well on the ratings list of Lopez movies. It's feel good and it's funny. 4/5

#3 - THE INVENTION OF LYING

Stars - Ricky Gervais, Jennifer Garner, Jonah Hill, Louis C.K., Rob Lowe, a million smaller parts

Director - Ricky Gervais, Matthew Robinson

Memorable Quote - "Ok, you're annoying me. Your voice is shrill. Goodbye."

Review - It seems Gervais has Hollywood in the palm of his hand at the moment, and one wonders how long it can last. This is another outing of the same character that he always plays, and while it is funny it just seems to be another example of "Ricky Gervais in x scenario". The voiceover at the start feels forced and put me off quite a bit, but it does get better. There are some sections where the dialogue sound is removed and this is nicely done, though you almost begin to feel as though the whole "man in the sky" segment is done just to be controversial on purpose - a tactic which I never find impressive. 3/5

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In Time, Bel Ami, Screwed

Yup, the blog is back! Hope you enjoy this latest round of reviews, more will follow.


#1 - IN TIME

Stars - Justin Timberlake, Cillian Murphy, Amanda Seyfried, Olivia Wilde, Matt Bomer

Director - Andrew Niccol

Memorable Quote - 'For a few to be immortal, many must die.'

Review - This is one that will certainly make you think. The concept is one that is wholly new (pretty rare for Hollywood), and this means that you really are never sure what to expect from each twist and turn. I loved the idea of time being a currency, as it really does bring in some great possibilities; and apart from some obvious plot holes, it was not a bad effort at all. Timberlake actually convinces as an actor these days and one can almost forget that he was a pop star, while Seyfried was unrecognisable and had all the (appropriate) naive charm of an actress in her first role. All in all, a great idea with a satisfying ending (and generally speaking, anything with Cillian Murphy in it gets a big thumbs up from me). 4.5/5

#2 - BEL AMI

I look at you with my vampire face

Stars - Robert Pattinson, Uma Thurman, Christina Ricci, Kristin Scott Thomas

Director - Declan Donnellan and Nick Ormerod

Memorable Quote - "I've been such a fool."

Review - I had to study Maupassant in my French A-Levels, and I loved the guy. I also hate Robert Pattinson, so I had no idea how this one was going to turn out. In the end, I found Pattinson as repulsive and dull as ever; but the plot was witty, clever, and neat, with all of the other parts fitting together brilliantly. I suppose it turned out exactly as I could have predicted. I'm also quite sure that hating Pattinson actually is what the character requires, because he is not likeable at all. 3/5
p.s. Pro tip: Never search "Bel Ami" in Google images with safe search turned off, because apparently there is a rather... dubious company which produces films of a different nature under that name. None of them, thankfully, star Robert Pattinson.

#3 - SCREWED

Stars - James D'Arcy, Noel Clarke, Frank Harper, Joseph Gilgun (for all of two background scenes), Andrew Shim

Director - Reg Traviss

Memorable Quote - I CAN'T REMEMBER BECAUSE I WAS TOO ANGRY ABOUT ANDREW SHIM

Review - Seriously, seriously, why do people keep giving Milky Andrew Shim acting jobs? HE CANNOT ACT. He could not act if every single person he knew was about to die and acting would save them. He could not act if you gave him fifteen million pounds. Just STOP putting him in movies and ruining them with his wooden hammy delivery of lines and primary school drama club expressions! He is not even hilarious like Nicolas Cage! He is just awful! Alright, rant over, because once again he was the only black mark on an otherwise excellent movie. D'Arcy is absolutely wonderful in this as the soldier who finds it hard to adjust, and turns to things he shouldn't to get by, while the plot twist at the end is just beautifully executed. It may look like a prison drama but it is only masquerading - this is a murder mystery, and make no bones about it. 4/5

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If you love movie trivia, you could also take a look at the tumblr run by this blogger, which features daily movie facts!

Dream House, The Invasion, District 9

#1 - DREAM HOUSE

Stars - Daniel Craig, Rachel Weisz, Naomi Watts, Elias Koteas

Director - Jim Sheridan

Memorable Quote - 'Once upon a time, there were two little girls who lived in a house.'

Review - I'll say this: Daniel Craig is an amazing actor, and this does have some nice twists and turns along with some great tricks to help you get into this particular world (loved: Craig screaming on the floor and the lights gradually coming back on. Hated: Laughter and children fading into the wall). Naomi Watts makes an appearance due to what seems to be the assumption that if you put her in it, it makes it a bona fide thriller (since she's in pretty much all of them, ever). Weisz is fair. Despite all of this and an alright storyline, I was left feeling strangely underwhelmed. There were also a few lighting-based goofs, which as a photographer tend to pretty much kill me when I notice them; all in all a strange one that I'm not quite sure where I stand on. Neither loving nor hating - almost worse than slating it is not being able to form an opinion at all. 3/5

#2 - THE INVASION

Stars - Nicole Kidman, Daniel Craig, Jeremy Northam

Director - Oliver Hirschbiegel

Memorable Quote - 'My husband is not my husband.'/ 'This is to imagine a world where human beings cease to be human.'

Review - This is an interesting one. From the chaotic opening of the shuttle disaster and the fake news reports, every effort is made to make us believe that this world is our own, and Daniel Craig here is no exception to the Craig-based statement I made above, even if his hair is hilarious. Kidman is even passable even if her accent is hilarious: her usual icy, slightly emotionless acting style works perfectly here, as she calculatingly attempts to blend in and survive the alien invasion, not for her own sake but for her son's. We see such staples as the zombie car scene, but these are not zombies; we see the traditional monster movie hiding in a store sequence, but these are no monsters. In the end, despite the fact that this is not an original movie, the idea behind it is very original and still makes an impact now. The final scenes of the film, though they present themselves as a happy ending, are not joyous - instead we see the sacrifice of a mother who wanted to make a different choice. Tense throughout and chilling for it, you could do a lot worse. 4/5

#3 - DISTRICT 9

Stars - Sharlto Copley

Director - Neill Blomkamp

Memorable Quote - 'We go home now?'

Review - The documentary style in which District 9 is shot leads to a quick build-up of apprehension, particularly on the part of Wikus. You feel immediately that something awful is going to happen but do not know what, which makes it more exciting to find out just what it will be. Although Wikus is at first an unlikeable character for the way he treats the aliens, you soon begin to sympathise with him, and by the end I found myself completely on his side. The consistency of the way the logos and camera details are integrated into most of the shots helps us see which parts are seen by the government and which aren't, building a clear picture of the situation and providing yet another of those details which make this film special, and one of the reasons for its success. 4/5

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Attack the Block, The Hunger Games, Footloose

#1 - ATTACK THE BLOCK

Stars - Nick Frost, John Boyega, Jodie Whittaker, Alex Esmail, Luke Treadaway, Simon Howard

Director - Joe Cornish

Memorable Quote - 'This is too much madness to explain in one text'

Review - What bills itself as a silly sci-fi comedy about teenagers in a London gang taking on an alien invasion single-handedly is actually a subtle and intelligent social commentary. The main cast seem to be a group of hard-edged black teens, mugging a woman in the first scene and brandishing knives, baseball bats, samurai swords and guns. As they develop throughout the movie we see them for what they really are: scared kids, struggling to survive in an environment that has let them down, turning to a life of crime in order to eat... the presence of the Brewis character, who lives with his parents, drives his Dad's car, and doesn't even pay rent, only reinforces this message. I've seen enough commentary from various internet sources - of people really not understanding the fact that real people aren't clean-cut heroes and that sometimes, yes, you do bad things but perhaps there's a reason and perhaps you can realise it was wrong and never do it again - that I'm going to move on now to the actual filming. The aliens were very well done, the script was flawless, everything felt genuine and real (I think I've met a few of the characters in real life), and even though the plot was simplistic I enjoyed it thoroughly. Reminds me of La Horde but a lot more light-hearted. 5/5

#2 - THE HUNGER GAMES

Stars - Jennifer Lawrence, Josh Hutcherson, Wes Bentley, Stanley Tucci, Liam Hemsworth, Lenny Kravitz, Woody Harrelson

Director - Gary Ross

Memorable Quote - 'May the odds be ever in your favour.'

Review - I kind of went into this movie expecting not to like. And, unexpectedly... I did. I liked it a lot. I wasn't completely sure when I left the cinema, but by the time I got home I was sure I liked it. It grew on me, in a way that I suspect is responsible for the popularity of both the film and the books themselves. It had enough of an impact on me that I actually decided to buy the book, and I'm a die-hard Twilight hater, so I had written it off as more of the same. The actors are good, the effects are good, I love the fact that Katniss is a strong female character... I wish the films had told me a bit more, because I didn't always feel sure that I knew what the characters were thinking. I really commend the fact that there was so much of the runtime dedicated to the pre-Games part, as it was so essential for character development - even in that space of time I could barely keep track of five or six tributes, so with a shorter time it would have been horrendous. Fair play to it - the hype may, for once, actually have been justified. Also, I love Woody Harrelson. 4/5

#3 - FOOTLOOSE (2011)

Stars - Kenny Wormald, Julianne Hough, Dennis Quaid, Andy McDowell, Ray McKinnon, Miles Teller

Director - Craig Brewer

Memorable Quote - 'You can stick a quarter in that girl's backpocket and tell whether or not it's heads or tails.'

Review - Now, I haven't seen the original, and I'm having a pretty hard time trying to imagine Kevin Bacon in this role, so you'll have to excuse me for no comparisons. That said, this movie is actually laughably bad. I enjoyed it, but not in the way I think I was supposed to. Also I'm possibly getting too old for things like this, as in the bus race scene my only reaction was to get annoyed and say, "What a waste, it must have cost them a fortune to buy all those toys and do the buses up! Now all their hard work is ruined!". Anyway, this film tries way too hard, and there are so many problems with it that I can't even begin to list them all. It actually views like a really extended showreel dedicated to make you think "Boy, that Kenny Wormald sure can dance!" 1.5/5

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Sophie's Choice, Catfish, Becoming Jane

#1 - SOPHIE'S CHOICE

Stars - Meryl Streep, Kevin Kline, Peter MacNicol

Director - Alan J. Pakula

Memorable Quote - "Don't you see? We are dying."

Review - Sadly, this is going to be a review of the particular DVD that I watched rather then the film itself. Why? Because, on a film with large swathes of dialogue in Polish and German, there were no subtitles available at all. Since I do not speak either of those languages, it became quite hard to follow and almost boring at times, though I did of course manage to get the general gist of what was going on. What I understood, I liked: the "present day" scenes reminded me of Cabaret's gleeful but dangerous love triangle, and you cannot help but feel a certain empathy for Stingo (although that is a fairly ridiculous name). Streep is a fantastic actress throughout, really becoming the role, and that is why this film is so respected; I would, however, highly recommend checking before watching that your copy holds those precious translations that you will most certainly need. 3/5

#2 - CATFISH

Stars - Ariel Schulman, Yaniv Schulman

Director - Henry Joost, Ariel Schulman

Memorable Quote - "There are those people who are catfish in life."

Review - Catfish is one of those movies that lead you to question your own moral stance on their content. For example, since the woman they unveiled as a sad, lonely creature inventing multiple identities also happened to lead one of the protagonists on and potentially break his heart, is it alright for them to exploit her in their film? Does that even matter if the film is, as many postulate, a hoax? Most of the interest in Catfish seems to centre around these two questions, but I'll say this for it: it keeps you on the edge of your seat, waiting for it to develop into some kind of terrifying teen thriller, and you can feel palpable tension as the three filmmakers arrive to meet 'Megan' for the first time. The fact that it does not develop into that thriller could be a little disappointing, but the feeling is soon replaced by the uncomfortable pity for a woman who lives her life through internet personas. Real or not real? Right or not right? Maybe those questions are too hard for a mere film reviewer to answer, so I'll finish with simply a rating. 3/5

#3 - BECOMING JANE

Stars - Anne Hathaway, James McAvoy, Laurence Fox, Julie Walters, James Cromwell, Maggie Smith 

Director - Julian Jarrold

Memorable Quote - 'What value will there ever be in life, if we are not together?'

Review - I actually had to check my archives multiple times in disbelief that I have not yet reviewed this movie; I've seen it enough times - I caught it at the cinema when it first came out and since then I never miss a chance to catch James McAvoy in that green velvet jacket. So many of the nuances of the film owe everything to Austen's works, in part out of necessity since not an awful lot is really known about her life; but those nuances are captured perfectly, and make the film a delight to any fan of Austen or of period drama in general. McAvoy smoulders as the arrogant gentleman who turns out to be a Mr Darcy type after all, while Hathaway's performance as the strong-spirited Jane is beautiful. Fox meanwhile provides the perfect unwanted fiance (though to be perfectly honest I don't see why she couldn't just marry him and live in happiness with a husband she could at least regard a great friend). The cast list is flawless all the way down, the dialogue sparkles, the costumes and locations inspire. All in all one of the best period dramas out there. 5/5

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Theatre Special: The Recruiting Officer

THE RECRUITING OFFICER - DONMAR WAREHOUSE

Stars - Tobias Menzies, Mackenzie Crook, Mark Gatiss, Rachael Stirling, Nicholas Burns, Nancy Carroll

Director - Josie Rourke

Memorable Quote - "Unless we could make ourselves some pleasure amidst the pain, no mortal man would be able to bear it."

Review - This showing of George Farquhar's excellent play ends tomorrow (14th April 2012) so I would suggest you've probably run out of time to go see it - and if you have not seen it, you have missed out. A thoroughly entertaining piece to start with, great use is made of the Donmar's layout in intricate choreography between each scene, placing the players around the stage, in the wings, and on small balconies on the second level. A group of five musicians accompany the play throughout with rousing choruses of 'Over the Hills and Far Away' along with other songs to capture the mood of particular scenes, each of them also taking turns to play all of the smaller parts in various different costumes and accents.

Mackenzie Crook, though playing a relatively small part for his star status, manages to conquer the stage completely during his scenes. As the gypsy fortune-teller he is hilarious, pitching his expression and tone perfectly to get the most laughs out of each line. Similarly laugh-a-minute is Mark Gatiss, virtually unrecognisable in heavily powdered and rouged face and long wig. Playing the French-hating Francophile Captain Brazen, m'dear, he captures the audience from his first appearance, throwing his hat at a member of the front row (in our case, a customer who was rather rudely reading his programme rather than watching the performance - to the joy of everyone else). In the end though you cannot help but root for the central character, Captain Plume, in his efforts to win the lady he loves - Sylvia.

Though the whole is filled with laughs, tricks, and musical gaiety, the ending holds a subtle twist. The comedy conclusion plays out as expected: the right men marry the right women, any misdemeanours are forgiven and forgotten, and the recruiting officers manage to recruit enough men to satisfy their superiors. All is well - but the band's final performance of 'Over the Hills and Far Away' sees one put down their instruments and march off to war after each verse. Finally only one remains, a lone voice now sounding very unsure of himself, and at last he too departs - a sloppy salute, a march that has no drum to beat time for it, and a sob at leaving home remind us that the subject of the play is the recruitment of untrained men to a life of glory that does not in actuality await them. The inherent tragedy of the situation then comes back to us: these men will die in battle or drown, or else come back disfigured or so forth - and the merriment they cause in the port is their only respite from a life of danger.

Laughter, sadness, good acting, good music, and audience interaction - the ingredients of a great play. From me, a resounding 5/5.

Half Nelson, Tyrannosaur, Sleeping Beauty

#1 - HALF NELSON

Stars - Ryan Gosling, Shareeka Epps, Anthony Mackie

Director - Ryan Fleck

Memorable Quote - 'We're always changing. And its important to know that there are some changes you can't control and that there are others you can.'

Review - Half nelson is one part sweet, one part shock, and two parts skill. Following Gosling as a teacher in a rough area of town, it explores his failed relationship with an old flame, his awkwardness around his family, and the crippling drug addiction that only adds to his general asshole quota. Enter ___, a student in the class who finds him clutching a crack pipe in the girls toilets, and soon becomes his only hope at a saving grace. Rather than the normal white-teacher-helps-ethnic-minority-students storyline which we have come to expect, this rather turns the dynamic on its head, leaving you with a new and interesting experience. Gosling is as great an actor as ever (this time his mannerisms include wiping his mouth on various items of clothing) and any unpleasant stereotypes are quickly blown away. A rewarding watch that will make you think, and hope for a better ending for everyone involved. 4/5

#2 - TYRANNOSAUR

Stars - Peter Mullan, Oliva Colman, Eddie Marsan

Director - Paddy Considine

Memorable Quote - -redacted due to un-family-friendly nature-

Review - Tyrannosaur is a strange, bleak film. From the outset we are hit with the contradictory and conflicting nature of the characters throughout: our protagonist kicks his dog to death in the first scene, making him immediately utterly reprehensible; directly following this is the solemn procession home and burial of he dog, a show of remorse that almost makes so as to redeem him. This duality - the idea of good and bad existing in the same person - becomes a central theme, as does the idea of situation having no impact on morality: a sheltered middle-class marriage can be as broken as a lower-class one. The twist ending is gentle and brings a small note of redemption for both of the central characters, though one remains largely less likeable than the other. It's an interesting one - perhaps not quite enjoyable, though it will come back to your mind again and again after watching. 3.5/5

#3 - SLEEPING BEAUTY

Stars - Emily Browning, Racheal Blake, Ewen Leslie

Director - Julia Leigh

Memorable Quote - 'Such a sleep works wonders.'

Review - A bit of a strange one here as well! Lucy is a poor student (I sympathise) who takes money for the objectification of her body: first as a medical experimentation subject, then as a hostess for exclusive dinners, and finally as a 'sleeping beauty', lying drugged in a bed whilst customers do what they will. It is a powerful film: we are trapped in Lucy's bland, emotionless worldview, everything as sterile as the lab except for the one interaction between her and a dying (suicidal?) friend. Even this is muted and calm; she does not sob or wail, simply allows the tears to run down her face. The colour scheme of the film is also muted, reflecting this same worldview; it is beautifully constructed, and the only truly uncomfortable moment comes as an old man begins to undress. Hint: it may start off being a vaguely interesting scene, but if you do not want mental scars, you must look away when he gets to the boxers. At last she begins to take back control of her own life, and finally at the end she awakes screaming into the real world again, her feelings coming back to life. You get the impression that everything that was bottled up throughout the film now becomes uncorked, and the events will haunt you for a while afterwards with their gentle, lyrical questions. 4/5

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