Alien, Black Death, A Very Potter Musical

A varied post, for sure.

#1 - ALIEN


Stars - Tom Skerrit, Sigourney Weaver, John Hurt, Ian Holm

Director - Ridley Scott

Memorable Quote - 'This is Ripley, last survivor of the Nostromo, signing off.'

Review - Like many movies from the last couple of decades, this film was cutting-edge at the time and yet now looks slightly ridiculous. The little baby alien that can only move in one direction and can't bend its neck, the way the special effects look, it's all a bit antiquated these days - but I suppose that's just the curse of our technological advancements, and not something you can really judge the movie fairly on. The idea of the film is alright, I suppose, but nothing really any more exciting than other alien or invader themed-movies, and not really any more scary. There were some facepalm moments, like why on earth anyone would spend half an hour looking for a cat when they are being stalked by an alien that wants to eat them, but again that's a common factor in movies of this sort. Nothing special, really, then, and I don't really get the whole 'strong female' vibe everyone seems to get from Ripley - all she managed to do was save herself. 3/5

#2 - BLACK DEATH

Stars - Sean Bean, Eddie Redmayne, Carice Van Houten, Johnny Harris

Director - Christopher Smith

Memorable Quote - 'She was dead!'

Review - This is a nice little piece, although I think the director has a much higher opinion of it than I do, judging by the 'making of' featurette. It's a little bit like '13th Warrior' without the Antonio Banderas factor, a little bit like 'Priest' (the manga, not the film, adaptation buffs) but with less horror, and a little bit like 'The Village' but less... cool. It's not bad, not bad at all, don't get me wrong, but it isn't amazing either. Johnny Harris makes his second blog appearance in as many posts, he seems to be hot right now, and Sean Bean puts in another 'Lord of the Rings' style performance as usual. So long as they don't make him do an American accent, there's nothing wrong with that. Redmayne put in quite a memorable performance, I think, managing to stand out amongst more well-known actors as a strong lead. The torture scenes were nice and, erm, bloody, which is always... nice? Anyway, the story itself was good enough - not intellectually challenging, and completely predictable, but interesting enough to carry it through. And hey, even 'Sleepy Hollow' was predictable, so there's nothing wrong with that. All in all a good night in. 3.5/5

#3 - A Very Potter Musical

Stars - Joe Walker, Darren Kriss, Joey Richter, Bonnie Gruesen, Lauren Lopez, Joe Moses

Director - Matt Lang

Memorable Quote - See below

Review - Hmm, technically not a film, but something you can very easily find for yourself on youtube, or at http://www.teamstarkid.com/projects/a-very-potter-musical. This is basically hilarious, and well worth a watch if you know anything at all about Harry Potter. Potter is a douche, Ron eats snacks constantly, Hermione is the ugly duckling, Quirrel and Voldemort share a bromance... standout performances make this a parody that could stand alone as a work in its own right. There are just too many good bits for me to choose one single memorable quote, so enjoy this lists of my favourite bits (not necessarily in order):
1. 'What the devil is going on heeeere? Oooh, deja vu.'
2. 'Hey, you...'
3. 'I'm happy as a squrrrrrl, long as I'm with Mr Quirrrrrl.'
4. 'I command you to GET UP and FOLD THEM, at least.'
5. 'You can call me Voldemort. We've reached that point.'
6. 'For example: ten points from Gryffindor.'
7. 'You got me! You little shit! Oh, this is so embarrassing... This is the second time this has happened!'
8. 'I still don't believe you're back.'
9. 'You're right, I am a betrayer. I'm about to betray someone right... now!'
10. 'GOYLE RULES!'
And finally, best song? 'Baby you're not alone' and 'Voldemort is going down', jointly. 4/5