Edward Scissorhands, Alexander, Miss Potter

Three rewatches! Well, it is a bonus post, after all.

#1 - EDWARD SCISSORHANDS

Stars - Johnny Depp, Winona Ryder, Dianne Wiest, Vincent Price

Director - Tim Burton

Memorable Quote - 'I know a doctor who might be able to help you.'

Review - Well now, I doubt that anyone could argue that this isn't a classic. Though it is for the most part strange and dark, and the ending is kind of depressing for poor Edward, it bears all the marks of the style we have come to expect from Burton. The characters are all immensely likeable or disagreeable, and are highly characterized to the point that we are more inclined to remember their attributes or appearance rather than their names. The idea of forbidden love is strong here, especially of unrequited or unrealised love. There are many humorous elements, of course, such as Edward accidentally puncturing the waterbed right at the start, and elements of the surreal or cartoonish, such as the hairdressing and hedgecutting sequences. It is a genuinely good film, and worth watching, but every time I see it I can't help but be unsatisfied with the ending and how sad it is that Edward has to spend his life alone. Mind you, if it was all happy-happy, it wouldn't be Burton. 4/5

#2 - ALEXANDER

Stars - Colin Farrel, Angelina Jolie, Jared Leto, Johnathon Rhys Meyers, Anthony Hopkins

Director - Oliver Stone

Memorable Quote - 'Conquer your fear, and I promise you, you will conquer death.'

Review - I can't quite count how many times I have randomly turned onto a BBC channel or Sky or something similar and this has been on. I've probably seen it more times than it deserves! In terms of historical accuracy I'm not what you might call an expert on Alexander the Great and so I have no knowledge to draw on to compare it too, but I'm sure some things must have been changed. For a start, I'm pretty sure Alexander wasn't Irish. Anyway, there is pretty much a triumvirate of chiseled faces and chests to enjoy here (Farrell, Leto, Rhys Meyers) as well as something for the lads (Jolie), although her character is kind of creepy. It must be something of an alright film judging by the fact that I haven't bothered to switch it off each time, but it's not going to go down as a classic - the acting is the usual Farrell woodenness mixed with occasional melodrama, which is disappointing when compared to certain other movies in which he shows his true potential. I'm not sure what they were thinking with the weird blond mullet, either. The relationship between Hephaistion and Alexander is well done, though, and is actually kind of convincing. There's no attempt to hide the fact that they were probably lovers, which is good, and there are many scenes that are quite touching, particularly death scenes. The battle scenes are quite good as far as battle scenes go, even if I did glaze over a bit up until the point where he actually got stabbed. Don't bother buying the DVD, though, it's on often enough. 3/5

#3 - MISS POTTER

Stars - Renee Zelwegger, Ewan McGregor, Lloyd Owen, Emily Watson, Bill Paterson

Director - Chris Noonan

Memorable Quote - 'Stories don't always end where their authors intended. But there is joy in following them, wherever they take us.'

Review - Ahh, the first time I saw this I was literally traumatised. You see, I quite like Ewan McGregor, and he's just as charming as ever in this - but no one warned me that he dies halfway through. Ewan fans take note, it is very sad when he does so. For a large part of the film I feel as if Beatrix is possibly insane and imaging the whole thing, but of course she isn't. It's not quite an Austin-level tragedy since she ends up getting over Ewan and falling for Paul from Monarch of the Glen, who, luckily, has always had a bit of thing for her. There are some parts of her story that will chime with a modern audience: she is determined to achieve her dreams no matter who tells her to give up, and she fantasizes about a time when she will be successful and rich and no longer have to worry about her parents. Not that she's poor to begin with. It's maybe not the most revolutionary of films, but it does give a charming insight into one of Britain's best-loved children's authors, and into a time when many things were different. Much like 'Becoming Jane', the moment that we realise that the heroine really has lost the love of her life (even more terrible for Beatrix, probably, since she was way past her sell-by date in terms of marriageability back then), is the stand-out moment of the movie, the one that will make you cry or at least sniffle a bit, and the one that you will remember long after having seen it. 4/5