#1 - ANASTASIA
Stars - Meg Ryan, John Cusack, Kelsey Grammer, Christopher Lloyd, Hank Azaria
Director - Don Bluth, Gary Goldman
Memorable Quote - 'Oh sure, blame the bat. What the heck? We're easy targets.'
Review - This is a rewatch, of course! I don't know, suddenly I decided I wanted to relive all those old Disney childhood memories. I started off with Beauty and the Beast, but actually the animation in that was so horrible I actually gave up. It was better when I first watched it, I'm sure. ANYWAY, Ania herself was a good Disney heroine - strong, feisty, but not too proud to turn away her true love when she found him. So what if you're the lost princess to a bygone dynasty? When you've got to marry the kitchen boy, just marry the kitchen boy! Dmitry's animation grated on me a little, though - he wasn't really attractive, and appeared to move in a way that was less natural than the other characters. Star of the show, though? Bartok the bat. 3/5
#2 - THE HUNCHBACK OF NOTRE DAME
Stars - Tony Jay, Tom Hulce, Kevin Kline, Demi Moore
Director - Gary Trousdale and Kirk Wise
Memorable Quote - 'All my life, you have told me that the world is a dark, cruel place. But now I see that the only thing dark and cruel about it is people like you...'
Review - I would begin this review with saying that this is a rewatch, but I honestly can't remember seeing it before. I looked at one of those "Disney hidden messages" things and ended up having to watch the entire movie just to see if I had seen it, and I'm still none the wiser. Still, at least now I can review it from a more adult perspective than I would have done. Basically, this is a cruel story about how a hunchback was imprisoned for his early life, then when he finally met someone who accepted him, she led him on when all along she was planning to seduce the powerful, handsome commander of the guard. WHAT A TERRIBLE THING TO SHOW TO CHILDREN. Particularly disabled ones. Anyway, good dramatic stuff, alright songs, so I suppose a good Disney move. Just cruel. 2/5
#3 - 44 INCH CHEST
Stars - Ray Winstone, Ian McShane, John Hurt, Tom Wilkinson
Director - Malcolm Venville
Memorable Quote - Just... no.
Review - Good points: John Hurt was very funny. His dialogue was great. Ian McShane was also quite funny. Bad points: The others were not funny. The dialogue for everyone else was forced and too try-hard. Ian McShane was simply playing a gay version of his character from Deadwood. You know, when I saw the trailer for this I didn't think it looked very good, and although it made me laugh a couple of times it's not an experience I would like to repeat. The storyline was ridiculous and frankly I had no sympathy for anyone. I did not care if his wife had left him. When he started hallucinating I actually switched off for a while. What was the point of the whole thing, just to show off that the director can use gritty characters or something? To try and get into the Guiness Book of World Records for most unnecessary swearing? Ridiculous waste of everyone's time. 2/5
No comments:
Post a Comment